Strengthening Bonds
by Terreis
Summary: Second story in my 'Forever Yours' series. A year after the Battle of Naboo, Padme struggles to come to terms with the decisions she made. Obi-Wan tries to help her overcome her feelings of guilt. Obi-Wan/Padme friendship. Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This takes place a year after the Battle of Naboo. Padme is struggling with the events of that day. I would like to give a special shout-out to a friend, who so graciously allowed me to borrow his original character, Usaki, for this universe. If any of you are familiar with the Usaki stories (like Rule of Two or Compassion), this will be a very different Usaki from that one. But if you aren't familiar with Usaki...go read those stories! They're awesome!

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The stillness of the night thundered through Padme's head as she gazed up at the stars over Naboo. Standing next to her window, she appeared to be relaxed and slightly contemplative, perhaps allowing herself to think about the things most normal girls her age would. The casual observer would miss all the subtle hints that something was very much amiss with the young Queen of Naboo.

They would miss the bleakness in her dark eyes, the slight thinning of her face. They would think nothing of the fact that, while most of her body was still as a statue, her right hand tugged and toyed with the end of the long braid she had pulled over her shoulder. The fact that she was biting the inside of her lower lip would go completely unnoticed by anyone who didn't know her.

Unknown to Padme, the room just down the hall from her own was currently full of people who were anything but casual observers. Distracted almost beyond the point of sanity, Sabe had contrived to meet with Captain Panaka and the other handmaidens about their queen. As Padme's decoy, Sabe had also become the queen's closest friend.

She had watched over the last month as Padme had begun to lose weight at a rather alarming rate. Something Sabe was certain Padme couldn't spare. She knew Padme wasn't sleeping. The makeup for the queen hid that from everyone else, but Sabe had seen the deep, dark circles under Padme's eyes. Genuinely concerned for her friend's physical and emotional health, Sabe had finally convinced the head of palace security to meet with herself and the other handmaidens in the hopes that they could find some way to help their queen without Padme actually realizing they were trying to help.

Their efforts were not progressing well.

But Padme was blissfully unaware of all this discussion at the moment. And so she continued to stare at the night sky, playing events over and over in her mind. Obsessing over names and faces that she had committed to memory a year ago. Could she have done anything differently? If she hadn't become queen, would they have been spared?

She lowered her head slightly, her gaze coming to rest on the memorial statue that had been placed in the gardens only a month ago. Carved from grey marble, it was very simple as statues went. A young man dressed in the uniform of a Noobian pilot stood side by side with a Gungan warrior atop the pedestal. From this far away, Padme couldn't read what the plaque on the base of the statue said. But she didn't have to. Almost in a whisper, she began to recite the words that she had memorized the day she commissioned the statue.

"Our lives are built upon a framework. The framework of privilege and freedom purchased through the blood, sweat and tears of our warriors, these brave Gungans and Noobians. Their hearts have known courage, for they've placed liberty before their own life…" her voice caught, but, just as she had every night for the past month, Padme forced herself to go on. "And in solemn decision committed to preserving the rights due to their peoples. Leaving the comfort and safety of loved ones, entrusted with a high and noble purpose. For their honor did not end with their death. Honor has become their eternal legacy. An inheritance left to all of Naboo's generations of the blessings of freedom and peace."

As the last bit of the memorial issued from Padme's mouth and drifted through the empty room, she emitted a strangled sort of laugh. When Sabe had finally finished writing it, Padme had been thrilled with what her friend had contributed. She had felt it was a fitting memorial for those they had lost. The words had filled her with sorrow, but also pride in the people who had made the ultimate sacrifice.

Now, however, when she remembered the names of those who had given their lives that day, she was only filled with remorse and regret. Her mind reeled with all the details of their lives, which she had taken upon herself to learn in the weeks after the battle. One of the pilots had been just a few years older than herself, the only son of his parents. Another had left behind her husband and their two year old daughter.

'_Get to your ships!'_

Padme winced as the memory of her order that day echoed through her head. Had she really understood at that moment what she was telling them to do? Had she really understood anything about what she was asking of everyone?

'_This is practically a suicide mission. I hope you realize that.'_

Ah, Obi-Wan. She had informed him that she knew exactly what it was. But it was horribly clear to her now that she had no idea. She had been willing to sacrifice her own life to free her people. At the time, the thought that others might lose their lives had seemed impossible to her. In spite of the fact that she was well-educated and far less naïve than other girls her age, she had still been sheltered in a way. All those days during the blockade had rudely shoved her into the reality that life could be unfair and, at times, even cruel.

Ever since she had attended the remembrance ceremony near the main square on the first anniversary of the Battle of Naboo, Padme had been consumed with thoughts of the Noobians and Gungans who had died on that day. The nightmares, which had been infrequent over the last year and easily dismissed the next day, became terrifyingly vivid. She saw her pilots exploding in the skies over Naboo. Gungans shot through with laser bolts from droid blasters. Screams echoed in her mind and she always woke up with tears streaming down her cheeks.

Sleep had become her enemy. She put it off for as long as she could before finally drifting off fitfully and awakening only two or three hours later. But being awake wasn't much easier. IN the quiet hours after the rest of the palace was asleep and before they awakened, Padme was alone with her thoughts. Self-recrimination and guilt ravaged her mind until she was certain she was going absolutely insane.

Padme had wanted so badly to be at one of the informal remembrance ceremonies, to hear how her people remembered that day without infringing upon them as a queen. Now there were times when she wished she had never snuck out of the palace. That night had begun her descent into a dark place that she didn't understand and didn't know how to escape from.

Unless….unless she just left altogether. Not before her term was up, of course. To do that would be abandoning her people altogether. Padme was not so far gone as to consider such a possibility. But if she were to refuse to run for a second term. If she could only have a little time to herself and rest. Perhaps she could go to the Lake Country for a little while. It certainly made sense to her. And she felt an incredible urge to confide in someone about her decision.

Padme pressed her lips together, searching for someone of her acquaintance that she trusted enough with something like this. Sabe was the first person that came to mind. But as she rolled the thought over in her head, Padme found she didn't care to confide in Sabe about this particular idea. It was an unpleasant sensation. She couldn't ever remember not wanting Sabe to know about an idea she was mulling over. Sighing mentally, she moved on to her sister. But the idea of talking to Sola about it was no more palatable than the thought of talking to Sabe.

She paced the floor of her room, systematically weeding out everyone she knew and trusted. Her mother, Eirtae, Sache, her father, Yane, Captain Panaka… All of them considered and summarily rejected. Utterly discouraged, Padme flopped on her bed. For some reason, she truly felt that she should tell someone about her decision. But whom would she tell?

When her eyes fell upon the holopad resting by her pillow, Padme suddenly felt better than she had in days. Obi-Wan. She had been writing to him earlier. A message that contained news of how she had instituted the anniversary of the battle as a remembrance day instead of merely a celebration. Some of it was fairly breezy, detailing how she, along with Sabe and Eirtae, had managed to sneak out of the palace for a few hours that day to take part in the very modest local festivities. It was the last time Padme remembered being even slightly happy.

Grabbing the holopad, she instantly began to write. Things she hadn't planned on saying were suddenly leaping onto the screen in front of her. And by the time she had finished, Padme realized that it wasn't a confidant she needed. It was an advisor. Determined to see all of this through, she quickly tapped the button that sent her message to her friend. It wouldn't be until the next night that she would regret her hasty action. But by then, luckily for her, it would be far too late.

******************************Coruscant - Jedi Temple

"I'm going for a walk."

As the door closed behind Siri, Obi-Wan found himself wondering once more how his beloved managed to slam the doors in the Jedi Temple. He took refuge in trying to figure out the logistics of just how one could slam a door that was manufactured in a way which supposedly made it "impossible" to slam. With his mind thus occupied, he was able to take more time to cool down from their argument. It enabled him to arrive at a solution much more quickly.

Except he didn't think he would ever be able to find a solution to this particular problem. It was the same story. The only thing that the two of them every truly argued about. Oh, they would debate the merits of different forms of lightsaber combat, discuss how different missions should have been handled, and even disagree on where they wanted to go when they were able to escape the Temple for a rare outing.

But Obi-Wan's friendship with Padawan Usaki had been a sore point for quite some time. Try as he might, Obi-Wan could not understand Siri's argument. And it was the one thing he would not compromise on. He had been friends with Usaki since she had begun her padawan training with Master Windu twelve years ago. He had watched her grow in the Force and, in partnership with Qui-Gon, had even helped Mace with her combat training. She was one of his closest friends and he would not shove her to one side simply because Siri was unreasonably jealous.

Reflecting on that last point, he concluded that her jealousy wasn't exactly unreasonable. Everyone knew where Usaki came from and what she had been intended for on her home world. The planet of Shosuro was notorious for genetic engineering and restructuring. Their main export was people, usually as some form of slave. Usaki had been restructured at birth, intended for marriage into the ruling family of Shosuro. Anything less than perfection was unthinkable and Usaki, now all of twenty standard years old, was stunningly beautiful.

He would have to be blind not to see how exquisite she was. He would have to be dead not to feel the pull of both her physical and mental presence. Usaki was a force to be reckoned with in many areas. And he freely admitted that his resistance was sometimes tested to the limit whenever they sparred in one of the many Temple training rooms.

But he loved Siri. And aside from that most important reason, there were other factors that always helped him keep his body from betraying him. One was that Usaki herself was deeply conscious of the fact that she, through no fault of her own, had been made into an extremely alluring woman physically. Because of her awareness, she practically threw herself into achieving the exact opposite. She was rarely seen in a basic Jedi tunic, choosing instead to cover herself almost all the time in loose, ill-fitting robes in an attempt to hide her figure. Usaki had become an expert at blending into the background, making herself as inconspicuous as possible.

She was also very aware of the strain her friendship with him placed on his relationship with Siri. At one point, Usaki had even offered to end their friendship herself. Obi-Wan would not consider it. He compromised with Siri on many things, just as she did for him, but he maintained that she would not dictate who his friends were going to be.

Obi-Wan was also of the opinion that Usaki was already spoken for, although she had said nothing to him. He had his suspicions as to who the person was, but out of respect for both parties, he said nothing to either one of them. It wasn't his concern unless Usaki decided to tell him.

It hurt on some level, he thought as he retrieved his holopad from his room and returned to the main living quarters. Even though Siri said she didn't trust Usaki, it felt like she didn't trust him. Furthermore, he could remember a time not so long ago when Siri had adored Usaki.

Shaking his head, he decided to set the problem aside for the moment and concentrate on the task at hand. Flipping through the few messages he'd received while he and Siri had been out, he barely skimmed the contents. Until one caught his eye and he felt a small surge of joy as he opened it up. He smiled slightly as he read of Padme's 'escape' from the palace with Sabe and Eirtae. It was easy to forget how young she actually was until she described the way they had plotted to outwit Panaka. Shaking his head, Obi-Wan reflected that he certainly didn't envy that man his job.

Halfway through the message, however, the almost light-hearted tone changed abruptly and Obi-Wan's amusement quickly faded.

_At mid-afternoon we attended a relatively small remembrance ceremony in the public gardens adjacent to the main square, which was my main purpose in leaving the palace in the first place. Obi-Wan, the organizers of the ceremony were a man and a Gungan who had both lost their sons during the battle. I felt almost ashamed as I stood there and listened to them talk about how proud they were of their boys. Although they said nothing against me…indeed, they actually ended with words of loyalty to me…I am still struggling with the thought that their boys would still be with them if I could've only found a peaceful solution to the Blockade Crisis._

_We returned to the palace not long after that and I presided over a more formal remembrance service that evening. But I'm afraid I wasn't truly aware of what was going on. In my head, I kept hearing all that had been said at the garden ceremony. I barely touched dinner afterwards and I didn't sleep at all. Instead, I found myself wandering the halls of the palace. Panaka saw me and I steeled myself for an argument about whether or not I should be in bed. But he only bowed slightly in acknowledgment before going about his business. Perhaps he knew I was wrestling with something in my mind._

_Because I truly was. And I have been doing so ever since, for the last month. Sabe recently expressed concern for my health, which made me realize that I was losing weight because I would eat only a few bites before my mind would begin racing again. Sleep is another thing I've been losing. Even as I compose this message, the sun has not yet risen on Naboo. And it will have set long before I manage to get any sleep again. My lack of sleep might also explain the absolute mess I've made in composing this missive._

_I've come to a decision, Obi-Wan. And I know it will not go over well with anyone._

_I've decided not to try for a second term as queen. Looking at the political landscape, I know I would have to do all sorts of damage in order to lose an election and the view is not likely to change anytime soon. If I run again, I am sure to win a second term. And I am simply not up to the task. _

_The feelings that plagued me so much on the day of the battle have only increased with time. Everyone keeps saying that I am one of the most popular rulers in the history of Naboo, just as you predicted I would be. Most of the time, I feel perfectly fine. I feel as though I'm accomplishing something. When I have any moment to myself, though…especially at night…everything hits at once. The names of those who lost their lives race through my head and sometimes….Obi-Wan, sometimes I think I can hear their voices._

_Am I losing my mind? The anniversary of the battle has just made the feelings that much more acute. I don't feel that I'm worthy to make these kinds of decisions for everyone. I keep thinking that a smarter person deserves this office much more than I do. Sometimes, it feels like the walls of the palace are closing in around me and I can't breathe. I can't move. I can barely think. It seems as though every time I manage to do something good for Naboo and its people, the feelings of guilt and fear just come back on me even stronger._

_I can't be an effective leader in this state of mind and I never wanted my role as queen to be the last political role I filled for Naboo. If I serve a second term, who knows what would happen? I'm already hearing voices now. Would I eventually start talking back to them? Then I'm the crazy queen of Naboo, my political career will be over and I won't be able to help Naboo or its people anymore._

_That's not what I want. While I never planned on another role as public as the one I find myself in now, I still wanted to continue to serve the people. Who would trust me if they knew what I had just told you? No one. Quite honestly, I will be shocked if you still trust me at this point._

_My only choice is to withdraw from the political arena after my term is over and perhaps travel to the Lake Country for a while. It's so quiet and peaceful on my family's estate. I think I might be able to gain perspective while I'm there. Then, perhaps, I could be of some use to whoever takes the office of queen._

_You know, I've been wondering as I write to you just exactly why I've told you all of this. There are people who love me…and whom I also love…that surround me every day. Why can I not confide in them instead of burdening you? And I've only just arrived at a conclusion._

_It's because I trust you more than anyone else. That might sound strange, since we met only a little over a year ago. But I know that you will tell me what you think is the right thing to do, even if you think I don't want to hear it. And I believe what I'm really doing is asking for your advice._

_Please help me, Obi-Wan. I don't know who else I can turn to._

_Your friend,  
>Padme <em>

Obi-Wan frowned at the holopad, his thoughts now focused solely on his young friend. He had hoped she was starting to put the decisions she made that day behind her. Their past correspondence had held hints of the guilt that she still harbored over the deaths of Gungans and Noobians alike. Never before, though, had it been so starkly revealed to him.

Now she needed his advice. He felt woefully inadequate for the job. He was a Jedi, not a politician. While he had understanding of politics, he truly didn't feel qualified to give advice to the queen of a planet. Not advice like this, at any rate.

'_She is your friend and she has asked for your help. What right have you to refuse it to her?'_

Obi-Wan grimaced. Perfect. Now he was hearing voices. And this one sounded annoyingly like Shaak Ti. He hated when his inner voice sounded like Shaak Ti. Her softly spoken admonishments always made him feel worse than any lecture from Qui-Gon ever had.

Taking a deep breath, he set aside the holopad and sought sanctuary in his meditation room. Idly, he reminded himself he would eventually need to find another area in his quarters to meditate. This room would eventually belong to his padawan, when he decided to take one on, and it wouldn't be fair to encroach on the privacy of his apprentice.

For now, though, he simply settled himself against a wall, facing towards a window that looked out on the night sky of Coruscant. Closing his eyes, he reached out into the Force and began to seek guidance.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** And here we are! The second chapter. First off, I want to thank everyone who has reviewed. I tried to respond to all of them, but if I missed you, please don't take it personally. I don't have internet at home...actually don't really have a working computer at home...and the only time I can upload is when I snag my sister's laptop at my parents' house. So when I respond, I'm responding on my phone. Which is a bit of a pain. Also, thank you to everyone who has subscribed to me and/or favorited this story. If you're reading and you haven't reviewed, I would love it if you'd drop me a line. Tell me what you like about everything. Or, if need be, what you don't like. Everyone feel free to give me ideas. While I have this series planned out until the end of 'Revenge of the Sith', not every little detail is set in stone. So if you have an idea, speak up! I'd love to hear it! And, if you don't mind spoilers, I'll be completely willing to tell you how I can work it in. Or the reason I can't, if that's the case.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Star Wars. Trust me. There will be a couple of Original Characters mentioned here. One is Usaki, who belongs to a friend of mine and has awesome stories written about her in his Star Wars universe. Thank you again for letting me play with your creation! The other is Corana Lin, a Jedi of my own creation who will figure largely into things later on.

So we continue right where the last chapter 'faded out'.

***********************Strengthening Bonds - Chapter 2**

The Force was something Obi-Wan had once struggled to understand. His early training in the area of meditation had been a source of frustration to both him and Master Yoda. Try as he might, he could not understand what it was Yoda was asking of him. It wasn't until the age of seven, when Jedi Master Corana Lin volunteered to work with him during her own free time, that he finally had his eyes opened.

"You're trying too hard," she had told him after their first few minutes together. His irritation must have shown on his face because she had merely smiled her gentle smile and taken his small hand in her own. "Obi-Wan, can you force me to do anything? Can you force Master Yoda or Master Windu to do something?" When he shook his head, she asked another question. "And why is that?"

"A true Jedi does not force his will upon someone else," he had responded with the innocence of a youngling who had yet to learn about the slightly grey area of Jedi mind tricks. Corana, all too aware that he would eventually understand the line Jedi were sometimes forced to walk, had only nodded in approval.

"And so it is with the Force, Obi-Wan. You are trying to make it flow through you. You should not try to do so. Bending the Force to your will could be quite dangerous. Relax, Obi-Wan. Close your eyes." He obeyed her and, keeping his hand in her own, she helped him gently push open the door that he had been trying to force his way into for so many months.

That was the first day he had truly been aware of the Force flowing through him. And he had developed such a symbiotic relationship with it so quickly that even Master Yoda had been caught off guard. Now, as he let the sensations of the Force sweep over and through him, he very easily felt the slight discord when he sought guidance concerning Padme. Yes, something was very, very wrong with his friend. It was incredibly rare these days for him to feel any kind of disturbance when he meditated. Obi-Wan's concern only grew with this development and he felt that the Force was trying to help him understand what he must do. For some reason, however, the answer remained just out of reach. He sighed slightly when he became dimly aware that Siri had returned and was patiently waiting for him. Knowing she wouldn't mind, he spent a little more time in meditation, attempting to both seek guidance in regards to Padme and gain a bit more patience for his upcoming conversation with Siri.

It seemed like only moments had gone by when he stepped back into the main living area. In reality, it had been over an hour. Siri sat on the sofa, her eyes regarding him with warm affection, mingled with regret and a small hint of concern. He took a seat next to her, enfolding her hand within his, and they stayed that way for several minutes until Siri finally felt the urge to speak.

"I'm sorry, Obi-Wan," she said softly. "I don't know why I have so much trouble with my feelings regarding Usaki. It's so odd, when I think about it. If someone were to ask me to give them the name of a Jedi they could trust implicitly, Usaki would be among the first."

"Trusting her as a Jedi and trusting her as a woman are two different things, Siri," he responded. "It's the second one you have troubles with. I suppose it's only natural. But I must tell you that I feel it is also a reflection on the trust you have in me. I love you, Siri. I would never betray you. I'm not sure what I have to do in order to make you believe that."

She leaned over, placing her head on his shoulder. Obi-Wan breathed in the scent of her hair, which served to calm him even further. He placed a kiss on her head and then rested his cheek against it, reveling in the peace he was always able to find when they were together, no matter what earlier circumstances had been.

"I know you love me," she finally said. "And I love you so very much. I've…I've spoken to Master Gallia. About my feelings regarding Usaki."

Obi-Wan felt his eyebrows climb. He was surprised that Siri had finally spoken to her master about the situation. She had avoided doing just that because she wanted to focus on passing her upcoming trials to become a Knight. Obi-Wan had told her several times that it was useless to try hiding it from Master Gallia, but Siri had taken a stubborn stance on the subject and Obi-Wan finally let it go.

"What did she say?" he inquired.

"She didn't say very much, but I could tell she was disappointed in me. That almost hurts worse than anything else that's happened because of all this. I have the feeling that my Jedi Trials are going to be postponed, which is what I was afraid of."

Well, he wasn't thrilled to hear THAT. It meant more waiting before they could have their betrothal officially recognized by the Jedi Council, which meant more waiting before they could finally start their life together. Still…

"I'm glad you finally confided in her."

Her head came up and she regarded him thoughtfully for several moments.

"The odd thing is…I'm glad I did, too. I didn't realize it until I actually spoke to her, but you were right. It was hurting me to keep something from her. I've never done something like that before and I just didn't realize how much I wanted to tell her."

She saw the knowing look on his face and her eyes narrowed.

"You're insufferable," she growled. Obi-Wan laughed and captured her lips with his own before she could say anything more. When they finally parted, she hit him on the shoulder playfully and muttered, "I'll do my best to endure a life at your side."

"Likewise, I'm sure," Obi-Wan retorted.

Siri smiled and sighed contentedly as he wrapped an arm around her, pulling her in closer to his side. Obi-Wan closed his eyes, happy to just be sharing the silence with the woman he loved. He let himself drift, dreaming of what their life would be like together. Certainly never boring. But then he'd never expected it to be. Obi-Wan felt himself reaching into the Force, picking out every little nuance in the atmosphere which surrounded them. Siri's vibrant presence nearly shocked him with it's intensity, which was normal in moments like this one. Free from any tension or discord around her, Siri's joy in the Force was always boundless. She never did anything by halves and her Force signature reflected that part of her personality.

It was very easy for him to feel when her mood had changed. There was a shift in the air around them and Obi-Wan opened his eyes. He realized that her gaze had fallen upon his holopad, which was resting on a chair across from them.

"Something was bothering you when I got here," Siri spoke softly. "Something other than our argument. I felt your distress the moment I walked in, but I set it aside so we could talk. Does it have anything to do with that holopad?"

"Yes, it does."

She sat up straight, her eyes bright with curiousity.

"Is it anything I could help you with?" she inquired. He smiled, brushing a stray lock of hair back behind her ear.

"I could certainly use your opinion." She nodded for him to continue. "I received a message from Padme. It seems she's been very busy with the anniversary of the victory over the Trade Federation. Her message was fairly typical, telling me about the various aspects of the day. And then it got…well, why don't you read it for yourself?"

Obi-Wan retrieved the holopad and handed it to her. He watched as the emotions he had felt upon his own face played across the delicate features of Siri. By the time she reached the end, he saw that she also felt distress over Padme's situation.

"She sounds lonely," Siri said softly. "Very lonely. And very lost."

Well, he had picked up on lost. But lonely? She was surrounded by people who cared a great deal about her. Siri spoke again as though she had heard his thoughts. And perhaps she had.

"There are different kinds of loneliness, Obi-Wan. In my opinion, this is the worst kind. People surround you at every turn. You know they love you. You know they would do anything for you. But, for some reason, you don't feel that you can confide in them. I think it's perfectly natural that she would turn to you. Aside from the fact that you've been friends for over a year now, she obviously thinks of you as the only person who wouldn't have an ulterior motive in giving her advice."

Obi-Wan frowned thoughtfully. He hadn't looked at it in those terms.

"If you think about it, she's probably right," Siri continued. "Those in the palace would want her to run for a second term. From what she's said of her family in the past, I imagine they're eager for her to get out of the public eye. At least for a while. No matter how hard they tried to be neutral, they would have underlying desires of their own. Whereas you…well, you provide an outsider's opinion."

He nodded, understanding Siri's point. Apparently, she felt that she had said enough. While he continued to give the matter some thought, she watched him in silence.

Sighing deeply, he pondered the path of the young queen. The tone of her letter had him very concerned. She sounded almost desperate, a word he had never thought to use in conjunction with Padme. The strength he had seen in her from the very beginning of their friendship was nowhere to be found, sapped away by the guilt she seemed incapable of shaking. For her own well-being, he should write to her immediately and tell her she was making the right choice. She should leave politics, even if it was only temporary, and focus on herself.

And yet…

"Yes. I sense it, too," Siri confirmed his thoughts.

"She would be making a mistake if she left the political arena now. I don't know why, but…" he trailed off, irritated with his inability to come up with a concrete reason. Siri took his hand again and squeezed it.

"Aren't you usually the one reminding me that the Force doesn't always reveal a reason? That sometimes things simply are?"

"She'll want a reason. You know that," he sighed in defeat. "And I have none to give her."

Siri pursed her lips together and thought over her next words carefully. She had to phrase it just right or Obi-Wan would reject the idea immediately.

"Perhaps if you could give her advice in person…it might help," she paused as he gave her a suspicious look. "I understand that Master Dahn has had to withdraw from the mediation mission on Chommell Minor. Rumor has it that Master Jinn needs another Jedi to accompany him and Anakin on the mission. The Council hasn't assigned anyone as of yet…"

"No."

Clearly, she hadn't considered her words carefully enough.

"Obi-Wan, you know he's wanted to return to Naboo ever since the Blockade so he can thank Queen Amidala personally for the care he received in Theed. And Anakin is always talking about seeing her again. Not to mention the fact that you told me just yesterday about how you were eager to provide assistance on more diplomatic missions so you could eventually conduct one yourself."

He glared at her and stood up, as if putting distance between the two of them would make her words untrue. She was right, of course. He was Qui-Gon's former apprentice, he wanted and needed to gain more experience on missions before he was ready to take one on his own shoulders, and they were highly likely to stop on Naboo. Three very good reasons to offer his services to the Council. At the moment, he didn't want to consider any of them.

Although he and Qui-Gon had long since repaired the damage done to their relationship when Qui-Gon rather unceremoniously declared he would take Anakin as his apprentice, there was still a part of Obi-Wan that deeply resented his former master's almost casual dismissal. He understood the reasoning and even agreed with it up to a point. The two of them had spoken at length about the situation, Qui-Gon had apologized for his hurtful actions, Obi-Wan had assured him that he was forgiven…the matter seemed closed.

There was another issue at hand, though. Obi-Wan loved Anakin very much. In fact, it hadn't taken very long for him to form a bond with Ani at all. He was a bright, curious boy with a sweet nature and open, loving heart. Of course he had his flaws. Everyone did. The problem was that Obi-Wan wasn't at all sure Qui-Gon saw the flaws of his padawan in quite the same way everyone else did. That is to say, Obi-Wan wasn't sure Qui-Gon saw them at all.

"Your jealousy over their relationship should not come into the equation right now, Kenobi. You know that all too well."

Ah, brutal honesty AND he was being addressed by his last name only. Both indications that his love was losing her patience with him. He didn't blame her. Although he did wish that she wouldn't be so blatant about reading his thoughts.

'_You shouldn't be so blatant about broadcasting them. It isn't as if I've reached into your mind without permission.'_

Her reply along their bond further signaled her irritation. Obi-Wan shook his head, determined to keep their conversation at a spoken level.

"I don't know if I'll be able to hold my tongue if I feel Anakin needs discipline. To chastise him when Qui-Gon won't…it would be ill advised, not to mention out of line."

Siri rose and walked over without hesitation, placing her arms around his waist as she came up behind him. One of his hands instantly covered her own, as if he could draw more reassurance from her through the contact. They stood like that for several minutes, letting the silence envelop them. Siri immediately knew when he had finally come to a decision, but she refrained from saying anything until she heard him sigh in resignation.

"They're supposed to leave for the mission in three days, Obi-Wan. Perhaps it would be best for you to speak to Master Yoda right away."

Obi-Wan shook his head and turned around, never breaking the circle of Siri's arms. His own arms pulled her closer and he kissed the top of her head lightly when it came to rest next to his chin.

"Why do you think my advice to her will be taken any better in person than it would be in a message?"

"You're stalling," she accused him playfully.

"No, I truly want to know."

She pulled away from him slightly, looking him squarely in the eyes as she gave him an answer.

"Because your presence is soothing to anyone and everyone you come in contact with. Because she clearly needs more than simple words on a holopad to reassure her at this point. Because actually being with her will help you read her own emotions better. Because the Force might lead you to see a solution once you spend some time with her. Because-."

Obi-Wan delicately placed his index finger against Siri's lips and she smiled.

"But I wasn't done, yet."

His response was a soft kiss that quickly took a rather passionate turn. After a few moments, he sensed the definite need to end things before he was unable to stop them. Reluctantly he pulled away from her, trying to ignore the small sound of protest that escaped from her lips.

"Obi-Wan," her voice was almost a moan and he clenched his jaw as he fought against the desire tearing through him. Regaining his equilibrium, his eyes met hers in a battle of wills.

"Siri."

It was only her name. But the tone in which it was said communicated volumes. She closed her eyes and then took a deep breath. In a few seconds, she opened them up again and smiled.

"I'm sorry. I know we promised each other. It's just…so very hard."

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow and was amused to see her flush a deep red.

"Difficult," she corrected. "I meant difficult."

"Yes. Of course you did."

"Shut up."

His eyes sparkled as he leaned in and gave her a very quick kiss. She smiled in response.

"I'm going to talk to Master Yoda," he announced. "You're welcome to stay here, if you want. I don't know how long this will take, though."

"I think it's best if I go home. You're far too tempting, Knight Kenobi."

"I would say the same about you," he responded as they walked out the door together. Despite the fact that she was headed in the opposite direction he needed to go to get to Yoda, he walked her to the quarters she shared with Master Gallia on the level just below his own. Outside her door, she gave him a very chaste kiss on the cheek.

"Good luck, Obi-Wan. If I can offer one more piece of advice…?"

He nodded for her to go on.

"If you're approved to go on the mission, write to Padme as soon as possible to let her know. I think it's safe to say that she's never felt so lonely or desperate in her entire life. Just knowing that you'll be there soon might help raise her spirits."

"I'll write her as soon as I receive word," he promised. "Good night, Siri."

"Good night, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan turned and began to make his way towards Yoda's quarters. As he went, he found himself searching for any other way to help Padme. Words could not describe how much he did not want to accompany Qui-Gon and Anakin on a mission. Perhaps he should at least try to send a message instead…

"_Please help me, Obi-Wan. I don't know who else to turn to."_

The ending words of her message floated through his head, the sound of her voice giving them extra weight and urgency. She needed him. She needed his friendship and his presence, just as Siri had said. Quickening his pace, Obi-Wan arrived at the door to Yoda's quarters in record time.

*****************Naboo**

Padme hadn't gotten any sleep at all last night. Instead, she had spent the entire night berating herself for putting her insane thoughts into written word and burdening Obi-Wan with everything. As though he didn't have enough to worry about on his own. She was certain that, in one fell swoop, she had managed to completely wreck the friendship that had been such an unexpected source of happiness and comfort to her over the past year.

So when she had dismissed Sabe for the night and made a pretense of going to bed like she was actually going to sleep at some point, Padme's first thought was for the holopad she had hidden under her pillow. Seeing the message from Obi-Wan, her heart began to pound so forcefully that she was sure Sabe could hear the sound from where she was finishing everything up in the outer rooms. Hesitantly, she opened it up.

At first glance, she wasn't surprised by its brevity. After all, she told herself, it didn't take very many words to say 'You're absolutely insane and I can't even begin to understand how we became friends in the first place.' When she actually read the message, however, she felt an actual smile spread across her face. Practically leaping out of the bed, she ran across the room and flung the door open. The urge to share her news was too strong to keep quiet until the morning.

"He's coming!" she announced without preamble.

Sabe stared at Padme, shocked at the sudden transformation in her friend. Her face, although still far too drawn for someone her age, actually had color to it. Her mouth, apparently, hadn't quite forgotten how to form a smile. And there was even a small spark of fire in the brown eyes that had been so vacant and listless for more days than Sabe cared to count.

"Who's coming?" she inquired, glancing at the holopad the queen held in her hand.

"Obi-Wan is coming to visit. With Master Qui-Gon. And Anakin. They'll be here in a week."

Sabe smiled, now seeing the reason for Padme's sudden excitement. She had been privy to some of the back and forth between Queen and Jedi over the past year. Sabe had watched the friendship develop and was thrilled that her friend had someone she could confide in that wasn't a part of the political world. It was something Sabe had always thought Padme needed.

'Never more than now,' she thought to herself. All Padme's momentary excitement couldn't hide the fact that underneath the flushed face of happiness was a complexion so pale Sabe wasn't even sure her queen needed makeup anymore. And all her sudden flurries of activity only served to emphasize the fact that her nightgown hung far too loosely on her already small frame. Sabe frowned, almost certain that her friend was thinner now than she had been only last week.

'No, never more than now,' she repeated to herself as she took advantage of Padme's liveliness to suggest a celebratory late night snack. If she could get her to eat anything, Sabe would consider it a great success.

***************************TBC**

**A/N: **I'm trying to do this story with a mix of Obi-Wan's point of view and Padme's. It's been difficult to strike a balance in the early chapters, so Obi-Wan has kind of dominated. For some reason, I find it easier to deal with him. I'm not sure why. As for Siri, please understand that I know virtually nothing about her character. I know basics from the EU, but I've never read anything with her in it. So her personality probably isn't like in the books and stuff. I just decided to make her into my own character as far as that goes.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hello, everyone. I apologize for the delay. I got stuck creatively and then I wasn't around my sister's computer for a while and then I got sick and...well, you know how real life is.

I want to say once again that you may find some of what happens in this story as out of character. That's because this is pretty much my own alternate universe and I do what I want. But it's not like the characters are doing a complete about-face. The Jedi Order is different, so the way Obi-Wan approaches a few things is also bound to be different. Some things regarding the Force will be referenced heavily in upcoming chapters. I've kind of put my own take on it because I've only read one Star Wars book and that was the adaptation of Revenge of the Sith. So again...my universe, my rules. I'm sorry if this annoys anyone, but I need things a certain way for my story.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Star Wars universe. Just this little skewed version in my mind. Thank you to George Lucas for creating the characters and the universe and for also allowing all of us to play with it. I also do not own the character of Usaki, who is mentioned in this chapter. But I do own Corana Lin, who is also mentioned.

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><p><strong>Strengthening Bonds: Chapter 3<strong>

As they prepared to land near the palace, Obi-Wan had to shield himself from the waves of unadulterated excitement that were rolling off Anakin in an almost violent manner. Glancing at Qui-Gon, he could tell that his former master was also being assaulted by the young boy's unchecked energy. Probably even moreso, since the two of them shared a training bond. But Qui-Gon said nothing to Anakin about trying to rein his emotions in even just a little.

Obi-Wan certainly understood Anakin's feelings. Truthfully, he was just as excited to be seeing Padme again. But Anakin, apparently, didn't yet understand that his thoughts and emotions could easily affect those around him. And while happiness was certainly something that wasn't a horrible thing to be shared with everyone, what would happen if Anakin experienced something truly awful and still didn't understand how his feelings could affect people?

For what Obi-Wan was sure had to be the hundredth time during the last week, he held his tongue and said nothing about this basic lesson to Anakin. The boy was still young, after all, and his transgressions over the last few days had not been deliberate. Rather, he just seemed to suffer from somewhat unfortunate decision making skills. That is to say, Anakin didn't give much thought to anything before going right ahead with it. Many padawans, Obi-Wan included, suffered from the same problem.

'_Many padawans are also chastised for it by their masters'_

Obi-Wan ignored the thought that floated through his head. He was not Anakin's master and, as a relatively new Knight, it certainly wasn't his place to try teaching him anything. If Qui-Gon felt that matters were well in hand, then his word was final. Privately, Obi-Wan thought Anakin could benefit from the same arrangement that Master Windu had with Master Lin. Although it was unusual, they shared the task of training his friend Usaki. It was an arrangement Usaki benefited from immensely, but Obi-Wan had the feeling that Qui-Gon would not be open to such a thing regarding Anakin.

"ANI!"

Both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan winced at the sound of Jar-Jar's voice, which had accomplished the task of piercing through the metal of the ship. The Gungan had spotted Anakin peering through one of the windows. Obi-Wan joined Anakin and wasn't surprised to see Padme standing not too far away from their Gungan friend. What did surprise him was that she was not waiting to greet them as a queen. He knew instantly that Sabe was the one in the deep purple gown and elaborate headdress as Queen Amidala. Padme stood a little ways from her, flanked by Eirtae and Yane, her features well hidden by the hood of her simple light grey gown.

Closing his eyes for only a moment, he was stunned by the change of her presence in the Force. Padme's Force signature had always reminded him somewhat of Siri's. Vibrant and intense, a reflection of the passion she felt for her planet and her people. Now he sensed only turmoil and despair. The emotions she was giving off were staggeringly negative and Obi-Wan shook his head as he opened his eyes, disturbed beyond measure that someone so young would carry such burdens.

His gaze locked with Qui-Gon's for a moment and Obi-Wan felt an achingly familiar tug through what was left of their bond. In mere seconds, he understood that Qui-Gon knew he was here to help Padme. And that his former master was also concerned by what he had sensed in the Force. Obi-Wan found himself longing to ask Qui-Gon's advice. He restrained his feelings, though, and allowed the impulse to pass. If he truly had trouble regarding Padme, perhaps he'd talk to Qui-Gon then.

As they left the ship, he was surprised to see Anakin race straight for Sabe. And he didn't miss the slight frown that crossed Qui-Gon's features. The young padawan was allowing his emotions to rule him, clouding the perception that should have enabled the boy to see where Padme truly was almost immediately, in spite of the hood that hid her face so well. Qui-Gon opened his mouth and Obi-Wan wondered if Anakin would be admonished for the mistake.

"Anakin. Come here and let us greet our hostess properly."

Obi-Wan arched a brow at first, but he saw the scarlet flame sweep across Anakin's face and understood in an instant. Ani was embarrassed enough over being called out for a breach of etiquette in front of everyone. To admonish him for lack of a basic Jedi skill would be even worse in the boy's eyes. Somehow, Obi-Wan had no doubt that Qui-Gon would point out the mistake when he was alone with his apprentice. For the first time, he was starting to see how fine a line Qui-Gon had to walk with Anakin.

With Anakin by his side, Qui-Gon bowed in greeting to the queen. Obi-Wan followed suit, pausing only for a moment to glance towards Padme. If Sabe was surprised that he knew where the true queen was, she didn't show it. Instead, she smiled and stepped forward.

"There is no need for such formalities among friends. Ani, it is so very good to see you," she held her arms open as she spoke and Anakin didn't hesitate. He hugged her as well as he could, considering the bulk of the gown she wore. In spite of the fact that it wasn't truly Padme, Obi-Wan knew the sentiment was sincere. Sabe adored Anakin just as much as the queen did.

Looking up from Anakin's beaming face, Sabe held her hand out in greeting to Qui-Gon, who took it in his own and bowed slightly.

"You look very well, Master Qui-Gon," her eyes shone with relief and affection as she spoke.

"Ani keeps me active," he replied with a rare grin. It faded slightly as he spoke his next words. "I…don't know how I can ever thank you."

"You're here to visit with us," she interrupted him as she gave his hand a slight squeeze before letting it go. "Not as long as we'd like, but just seeing all of you again is thanks enough. And what we were able to do for you was nothing compared to what you did for us."

She held both hands out to Obi-Wan, who didn't hesitate in taking them. He was very fond of Sabe. They had spoken quite a bit during his time on Naboo and nearly all of Padme's epistles contained news of Sabe as well. He hadn't intended to draw her to him, but when he saw her mask drop for just a moment, saw the worry and the sorrow in her eyes, he smoothly pulled her in for a friendly hug. It lasted only a moment, but it was long enough for her to convey her relief.

"I'm so very glad to see you again," she whispered, her tone implying that he would never know just how glad she truly was. They released each other and stepped apart. The mask of queen was firmly fixed upon her face again and she turned her attention back to Anakin, who had a small frown on his face.

"Ani, I'm terribly sorry, but I've had to call a special meeting of my council. I must get to the throne room quickly. I've set aside a few hours tonight just for you after supper, though. I can't wait to hear all about your Jedi training. And tomorrow, I managed to arrange it so all of us would have the entire day together. No meetings, no duties. We'll be going on a small trip of sorts. Would you like that?"

Anakin was obviously not all that thrilled at the news of the separation, but Obi-Wan was glad to see that he was making every effort not to show it, however unsuccessful his efforts might be. Sabe smiled, clearly seeing the disappointment in the boy's face.

"In the meantime, I've arranged for Yane to take you and Master Qui-Gon to your quarters. Then, if you like, she can take you to see the new kittens that have just arrived."

Anakin made no attempt to hide his approval of that idea. Obi-Wan couldn't stop his grin as he saw Ani's excitement, not to mention Qui-Gon's discomfort. Ani was sure to want one and Padme would no doubt be willing to give him one. Qui-Gon, however, just didn't seem to get along with cats. Or, rather, cats didn't get along with him. As Obi-Wan had discovered when he'd brought a stray home to their quarters in the Jedi Temple. The cat was around for about a day before Obi-Wan wound up giving him to Mace, whom Pouncer (Mace's choice for a name) still absolutely adored. Much to Qui-Gon's disgust.

"Do they like living in the palace?" Anakin inquired of Yane, who had come forward to be their escort. It was a thinly veiled attempt to feel out the possibility of taking one home to Coruscant and Obi-Wan barely managed to disguise his laugh with a cough. A task made all the more difficult when Qui-Gon shot him a glare.

"I think they like it here very much," Yane replied. "But perhaps there is one who would like to see new places, too." She caught Qui-Gon's eye. "Let's not worry about that until the time comes, though, alright?"

Obi-Wan looked toward Padme, relieved to feel the small amount of joy surrounding her. At least she was finding amusement in the little scene.

"Sabe will take you to your quarters, Obi-Wan," the queen told him. "You'll be in a different wing of the palace, closer to the gardens. I know how you loved those when you were last here."

"Why can't we be closer to Obi-Wan?" the youngest of the Jedi wanted to know. There were times when he felt a little jealous of Obi-Wan. However, Anakin actually did love his master's former apprentice very much and had enjoyed spending the last few days on the mission with him. Out of necessity, they'd been quartered right next to one another and Anakin wasn't too keen on the idea of being separated from him before they got back to Coruscant.

"He won't be that far, Ani," the queen assured him. "But I thought you'd like a room closer to the kitchen. I seem to remember you spending a lot of time there a year ago."

Yes, Anakin had liked spending time in the various rooms that made up the palace kitchen. He had even helped the cook out and, being of a rather outgoing nature, quickly made friends with all the staff. Mollified by the reasoning, Anakin nodded. Obi-Wan couldn't help but be impressed with how it had all been so easily explained. The wing closest to the gardens was also the wing which housed Padme's personal quarters. He didn't know if Panaka, Sabe, or Padme had engineered all the particulars, but he was very glad that they had done so.

As Yane led Qui-Gon and Anakin away, Obi-Wan began to focus his attention more fully on Padme. He spared a reassuring glance towards Sabe as she left and she gave him a shaky smile. Although he was watching his friend, Padme would not turn directly towards him. Instead, she watched Sabe and the others leave. Only when they were completely alone did she finally turn her head. Obi-Wan started to speak, but found himself speechless as she drew back the hood that had been hiding her face.

She was…so very pale. Obi-Wan could almost swear he could see through her skin. And even though he couldn't really make out her form in the loose-fitting handmaiden gown, he could easily see that she had lost weight simply by looking at her face. Her eyes, however, were what absolutely terrified him. He could see affection in them, but beyond that they were listless. Empty.

In a swift but gentle motion, he stepped closer and put his arms around her. She tensed only for a moment and then, as he had known she would, began to cry. Knowing they should not continue the tableau in a relatively public place, Obi-Wan felt no compunction whatsoever about using the Force to calm her long enough for the two of them to seek out a more private setting. He still wasn't sure exactly how he would handle this, but as he led her towards their destination, he began to formulate a plan in his mind. Hopefully, it wouldn't backfire on him.

* * *

><p>Padme's garden was a place where she usually found comfort and peace, away from the duties and demands of royal life. There were a few fountains, none of them overly large, placed throughout the grounds. The flowers, varied in colors and shades, all possessed a delicate aroma. Padme hated what she called 'obnoxious flowers' that overwhelmed the senses. No one but she and her handmaidens were allowed in. They tended the grounds themselves, finding joy in such a relatively mundane task.<p>

Because it was such a peaceful place, she had extended an invitation to Obi-Wan after the Battle of Naboo to come here. He had taken her up on it, making use of the serene atmosphere three or four times before returning to Coruscant once Qui-Gon had recovered well enough to travel. And now he had led them both here. Between his presence and the calming surroundings, Padme began to gather herself together once more. Obi-Wan couldn't help her if she was hysterical, after all. Of course, only Padme thought she was anywhere close to hysteria.

They sat by the edge of the largest fountain, a delicate-looking structure made of pale grey stone. Although they were facing each other, Obi-Wan kept Padme's hand in his and she found herself glad of the contact. She waited for him to say something, but he remained silent. The minutes ticked by until, finally, Padme couldn't stand it any longer.

"What do you think?" she prodded him.

"What do I think of what?" came the maddening response. Padme resisted the urge to glare, although she couldn't suppress the sigh.

"What should I do, Obi-Wan?"

He regarded her thoughtfully for a while, leading her to wonder if she would have to be the one to break the silence once more. But she held her tongue and tried to be patient.

"I'm not going to tell you what to do, Padme."

She couldn't have been more stunned if he had announced his decision to leave the Jedi Order.

"I don't want you to tell me what to do," she protested. "I want your advice."

Obi-Wan shook his head and Padme felt anger begin to rise up in her before he even spoke again.

"No. I think right now, in this moment, you want me to tell you what to do. Perhaps you wanted advice when you wrote to me. But now that I'm here…what you want is something I simply can't do."

She withdrew her hand from his, furious with his statement even as she saw the truth in it. She refused to admit he was right, however.

"Can't? Or won't?"

"You're right," he nodded. "I misspoke. I could tell you what to do. I could very easily sit here and tell you just exactly what you should do with your life. But I won't."

Padme scowled at Obi-Wan now and, in her anger, lashed out at him.

"Then why did you even come here? Why write to me and promise you would help if you had no intention of doing so once you arrived? You mentioned in your message that you had talked to Siri about me. Was it her idea to get my hopes up on false pretenses? Did both of you have fun planning to crush my feelings into the ground?"

That was going too far and Padme regretted the words the moment she said them. A flicker of hurt crossed over Obi-Wan's face, but beyond that he remained stoic as her voice rose in volume. She knew she was behaving shamefully, no better than a spoiled child who wasn't getting her way.

'_Not to mention how incredibly overdramatic I sound,' _she thought._ 'Why not just say that he's breaking my heart while I'm at it?'_

"I'm…" she stumbled over her words. "Obi-Wan, I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me."

Padme bowed her head, unable to bear looking her friend in the eyes any longer. In spite of the fact that she had just insulted both him and the woman he loved, she knew those eyes held no anger or judgment. She felt incredibly unworthy of his friendship in that moment, knowing how her words must have hurt him.

"Give me your hands," he said suddenly, holding both of his out to her with the palms up. She looked up again and blinked and stared at him as though he'd gone crazy.

"I…what?"

"Give me your hands," he repeated, adding "and close your eyes."

Feeling wary all of a sudden, she slowly slid her own hands into his. As if he could sense her nervousness, he smiled at her reassuringly. It only made her feel a little better, but it was enough for Padme to follow his second request. Once her eyes were closed, he began to speak again.

"I'm going to say a few things and you might not like all of them. But I want you to promise me that you'll keep your hands in mine and stay exactly as you are right now. And don't interrupt me. Do you promise?"

Padme wasn't too thrilled with the proposal of having to sit and listen to things she didn't want to hear. She had to do enough of that during council meetings. Had it been anyone but Obi-Wan asking it of her, she would've refused. It was Obi-Wan, though. So after a moment's hesitation, she nodded her acquiescence.

"Padme…"

"I promise," she spoke the words aloud, knowing that was what he wanted to hear.

"Thank you. Now let me tell you what I think. I think that you are allowing this guilt to consume you. You're an exceptionally strong young woman, Padme, and I have a hard time believing that anything could bring you to your knees unless you've let it take control of you. Press your lips together in that line all you like, but you know deep down that it's true."

True to her promise, Padme didn't move. No matter how much she didn't want to acknowledge that Obi-Wan had a very good point, she knew it was true on some level. Nevertheless, she had an angry retort just waiting to spring out of her mouth and pressing her lips together seemed to be the best way to keep from saying something she would regret. Obi-Wan continued on.

"I'm just postulating, of course, but you haven't talked to anyone about exactly why I'm here to see you. Have you?"

Postulating? Dimly, she wondered if he was trying to amuse her by using a word which was rarely found in day to day conversation. Hesitating just a little, she shook her head. Although she wasn't positive, she thought she heard him sigh.

"This is very important, Padme. Do you remember when you found me meditating here? A few days after we spoke in the hospital?"

She fought the urge to look at him as she responded with a nod. Remember it? It was one of her fondest memories. The Force was something she had always heard about, but she had never imagined being able to see the things she had seen that day. The sensations as Obi-Wan had taken her hands and guided her through his own meditation were like nothing she had ever experienced. She had seen a room in the Jedi Temple, a room which Obi-Wan had informed her belonged to Master Corana Lin. It was where he had first truly connected with the Force and he had explained that, in his meditations, he often returned to that place in his mind.

But it was more than just sight. Padme had felt so incredibly safe in those few moments. Not because she was with Obi-Wan, but simply…because. She couldn't explain it, even now. The entire experience had simultaneously given her both a rush of emotions and a sense of complete serenity.

Obi-Wan was speaking again.

"I'm glad you remember. Because you're going to do that again. But this time, it will be your own meditation."

"I don't see how that will help," she stated, being very careful with her tone to make sure he didn't think she was trying to be insulting. "Didn't you say you spent years learning how to do that?"

He sighed again and Padme felt a twinge of guilt. But she truly didn't understand how such a thing would help her. They didn't have time for her to learn how to do it. Then he asked a question of her that she hadn't expected.

"Padme, do you trust me?"

She didn't even have to think before she answered.

"With my life."

She had the feeling her answer surprised him a little. No small wonder, given the way she'd been acting the last few minutes. His hands tightened around hers for a brief moment and she smiled slightly.

"Alright," he continued. "Now, I know you're a little confused. So I'll explain this as well as I can. You're Force sensitive, Padme. Did you know that?"

Padme nodded.

"I was tested when I was a baby. They said I didn't have the potential to be a Jedi, though."

There was a slight hesitation before he spoke again, which confused her a little. But he went on to explain what they were doing.

"What we're about to do will not be exactly the same as what younglings are taught while training to be a Jedi. Jedi have to be able to allow the Force to flow through them. They need to be able to feel every nuance, every shift in their surroundings. What I'm going to teach you is much more basic. You need to find your own way, Padme. And I think that if you can connect to the Force even on the simplest level, you'll be able to answer your own questions."

"I don't understand…" she whispered, her tone just a little desperate. Giving punctuation to her emotions, she finally gave in to the urge to open her eyes. She wanted to understand. Words couldn't begin to describe how much she wanted to understand. What Obi-Wan was talking about, though, seemed so very foreign to her.

He met her gaze and tears pricked her eyes when she saw the concern and warm affection in his own. Although she tried to fight them, frustrated beyond all reason with her emotions at this point, a few tears escaped anyway. Releasing her hands, Obi-Wan leaned towards her just a little. Placing both of his hands on either side of her face, he wiped the tears off with his thumbs and then gave her a gentle smile.

"You will," he whispered back, his voice conveying full confidence in the promise he was making. She felt a wave of warmth sweep through her, a feeling she had come to recognize. It was a feeling she had only gotten around Obi-Wan, always when she was unsure of herself or concerned about something. After that day in the garden, she had realized it was something like a physical manifestation of what he felt for her, the affection he had for her that he sent out through the Force. Whether he realized he was doing it or not, she didn't know. She had never asked.

After a moment, he took her hands and smiled at her once again, this time with a sly wink that brought a smile to her own face.

"Now, will you let me help you?" he asked.

"Yes," she responded, closing her eyes without any prompting.

"Good. Listen to me carefully. I want you to relax and think of…a place that holds your happiest memories. Somewhere you feel safe."

Frowning just a little, Padme tried to do as he said. It was more difficult than even she had thought and it wasn't long before she felt frustrated. Obi-Wan spoke again, his voice soft and calm as he gave her instructions. Listening as he talked her through it, she slowly began to empty her mind of all the fears and guilt that had been haunting her for so long. She still wasn't sure how this was going to help her. But Obi-Wan believed it would and there were few people she trusted more than him.

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: So how will this go? Well, most of this chapter is pretty much just Padme's internal thought processes. If you see any dialogue in italics, it means that the words are not being spoken out loud. Because Obi-Wan is with her in this 'meditation', they are capable of projecting their thoughts towards one another. But only during the meditation. I'm not going so far as to give them a Force bond on that level.

Disclaimer: Don't own it. Except for Corana, Lea, and Obi-Wan's mother.

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><p><strong>Strengthening Bonds: Chapter 4<strong>

When Obi-Wan told her to think of a place where she felt safe, Padme knew that the meaning was more complicated than the usual definition of the word. She felt safe in the palace, hidden away from those who wanted to harm her. She felt safe at her family's home, where her parents had protected her innocence and naiveté as long as they possibly could.

What Obi-Wan was talking about, she knew, was the type of safety felt among the people closest to her. The joy she felt during whispered conversations with Sabe, the love that conveyed itself through a simple touch from her mother, the sense of calm she was feeling now with Obi-Wan. Somewhere in her mind, she had to grasp a memory of a place that could bring all those feelings to the forefront.

At first, she flailed about in frustration. What sort of place could convey all those things? They were all things specific to people, not places. Obi-Wan's voice reverberated through her mind, gentle but insistent.

_Relax and breathe._

At his urging, she managed to calm her thoughts a bit more. Padme let her mind drift a bit, thinking of the last time she had done anything like this, when she had found Obi-Wan meditating in the garden a little over a year ago. With that memory coming into focus, she suddenly felt her anxiety slip away and she pictured herself in a place that she hadn't been to in a very, very long time.

The air was warm, perfumed with the patches of wildflowers that grew in the meadow. There was part of the lake, a magnificent waterfall serving as a frame for its shores. It was exactly as she remembered it being, although different somehow. The sun seemed brighter, the colors more vibrant.

'_It's the way of things when you picture something in the Force_,' Obi-Wan spoke again. '_Places or people that you love…those feelings manifest themselves in an almost physical way. If, for example, I were to call up a memory of Siri, she would look as she does in real life, but my feelings for her would add to her physical appearance.'_

'_And with a place or person you did not like?_' she ventured to ask.

_'Sadly, it does have its disadvantages_,' he agreed. _'But I rarely try to focus on negative memories when I meditate. I find it slightly counter-productive._'

Even though he wasn't even speaking out loud, Padme could hear the slight sarcasm. She recognized it as the playful banter it was, though. Obi-Wan went on.

_'This place is beautiful. Where is it? If you don't mind my asking, that is.'_

_'Of course I don't mind,_' she replied. _'This is a place near my family's home at Lake Varykino. We don't live here all year, but we used to come in the summer. I don't think I have any bad memories of this place. Nothing more than perhaps getting into a little trouble with my sister.'_

_'Then it's perfect,_' Obi-Wan informed her, his voice carrying a note of approval.

They were silent for a while, just enjoying the serenity of the place Padme had called up from her memories. In spite of his comments, Padme had the uneasy feeling that Obi-Wan was seeing something she could not. But she said nothing, deciding that he would speak up if he felt it necessary.

After a few moments, she began to sift through her thoughts about Naboo, about her place in the government and the decisions she'd made on the day of the battle. Somehow, in this place, it seemed easy to approach all of it without becoming so terribly emotional. Wondering how long Obi-Wan was going to remain silent, Padme decided to approach the initial problem first.

The Battle of Naboo. Padme had been brought up to believe that violence was wrong. Her family, her teachers, the very culture of Naboo had all eschewed violence, citing it as a last resort. Diplomacy first in all things. Not that there wasn't violence in Naboo's history. No planet could boast a completely peaceful history.

She was babbling. In her own mind. That couldn't be good. Pulling her thoughts back into focus, Padme dissected all the events leading up to the Blockade. Could she have acted faster to put a stop to things? No. Everything had quickly spun out of control and not even the Jedi sent to speak to the Federation had been able to do anything to prevent the invasion.

Nothing she said would've convinced the Senate to come to Naboo's aid. She saw that with perfect clarity now. They might still be debating the matter even now if she had not called for a vote of no confidence. Chancellor Valorum's forced retirement niggled at her thoughts. Something seemed strange about all of it now that she looked back. She knew that Finis Valorum had been an ineffective leader and she wasn't second-guessing her decision to call for the vote of no-confidence. The feeling that she had been rather smoothly manipulated by Palpatine, though, was starting to make its presence known.

She didn't care for that thought in the slightest and didn't understand why she felt that way. Chancellor Palpatine was a strong leader and fair-minded. He didn't allow people to sway him behind the scenes, something the Senate desperately needed after years of Valorum's leadership. She trusted Palpatine.

Didn't she?

Padme sighed and decided that, while her thoughts in this direction were both surprising and disturbing, she would probably be better off not focusing on Palpatine right now. As she moved her thoughts to the day of the battle, she allowed herself a moment of wonder. Her ability to suddenly view things in such an objective light was a welcome change. Was this how Jedi were able to maintain such level heads? She resolved to ask Obi-Wan later.

Playing the events of the day over in her mind, Padme saw with a sudden clarity that if she had done anything differently, the whole thing might have been even more of a disaster. She had allied her people with the Gungans. If she hadn't sought them out, it would've spared the Gungans who died in the battle. But without the Gungans fighting against the army of droids, the mission to storm the Palace and capture the Viceroy would've failed. Even if it had been successful at first, thousands of droids would have eventually marched on Theed. Their sheer numbers would have overwhelmed her people and she would be dead right now. Her family, her handmaidens, Obi-Wan, Panaka, Anakin, Qui-Gon…they would all be dead. Or, possibly even worse, captured. What kind of power would two Jedi prisoners have given the Federation? She shuddered to think about it.

And what of the Gungans? Eventually, the Federation troops would've discovered their hiding places. They too would've been killed or captured. Maybe even sold into slavery. Padme didn't think the Federation was above such actions. The past year had taught her much about the Gungans. Beyond the odd way of speaking and somewhat awkward appearance, Boss Nass was a being with great honor and pride. Most of the Gungans seemed the same. To be slaves…they would rather die. She knew that with certainty.

She had ordered the pilots to their ships without hesitation. One of them had never even made it out of Naboo's atmosphere. Several were lost in the skies above the planet and had it not been for Anakin's accidental discovery of the weak point in the Droid Control Station, Padme had to admit that the entire fleet might have been wiped out. Suicide mission? They must've known most or all of them would die, but they went anyway.

Without the pilots and ships to distract them, though, the Trade Federation's smaller ships would've gone unchecked. There might've been an aerial assault on Theed. There was no telling how many innocent civilians would've died in such an attack. As it was, there had been a few civilians who had been killed during her absence when they tried to resist the Federation's presence. All of Theed might have been wiped out. And then they would've moved on to the other cities. And the smaller villages. Again, Padme saw total destruction in her mind.

As for the battle inside the palace, she could only be glad that none of her people had been killed. Several were wounded, but none with life-threatening injuries. If she had sent some guards along with Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon, though…

_'That is not your burden to bear.'_

She had forgotten that Obi-Wan could sense her thoughts while they were in this meditation together.

_'I feel I should've protected both of you more,'_ she responded. A wave of affection tinged with frustration washed over her.

_'It was our job to protect you. Not the other way around. What happened to Qui-Gon was not your fault. He doesn't blame you for it. I certainly don't blame you for it.'_

Padme felt herself falling out of her state of meditation. She suddenly felt colder and very tired. It was only when she opened her eyes that she realized darkness was starting to creep over Naboo. Several hours must've passed, yet it seemed like only a few moments. She looked over at Obi-Wan just in time to see his eyes open as well.

"What happened with the Sith has caused me enough grief," he told her gently. "Please promise me that it will not cause you grief as well."

She nodded, giving a slight squeeze to both his hands as she did so. Obi-Wan gave her a smile and stood up, pulling her with him. They stood there for a moment as he studied her.

"How do you feel?" he finally inquired.

"That was…very different from what you showed me before. I don't know how to explain it."

"For lack of a better word, you were only an observer last time. This was different. This was your thoughts creating a place specifically for you. Your thoughts, your emotions…entirely different feeling. You maintained your focus very well."

She chewed on her lower lip slightly as they began a slow walk out of the garden. He didn't speak and she was grateful for his silence. It was taking some time to adjust her perceptions and thoughts once more. What she had just experienced definitely helped her. She no longer felt as though the world was closing in around her.

"I feel…" Padme trailed off.

In a way, she felt discouraged. While her all-consuming guilt was no longer as prominent as it once was, she was still very confused as to what she was supposed to do. Her mind was telling her that nothing could've really been differently on the day of the battle. For the first time in a long time, her emotions did not drown out the logistics of the situation. But everything was still there. The guilt, the self-recrimination, the little voice whispering 'what-ifs' in her head…they were all diminished, but they still existed.

"Meditation is not a cure-all, Padme," Obi-Wan took her hand again and she was grateful for the reassuring contact. "It will take time for everything you've been feeling to fade away. And they will never be gone completely. I wanted to teach you about this because I thought it would help you keep everything from overwhelming you again. You can't make rational decisions if your emotions rule your life. That's what you were allowing your emotions to do."

"But I still don't know what to do," she modulated her voice carefully, trying not to sound like she was whining. It still sounded like whining to her, but Obi-Wan didn't seem to think anything of it.

"That's why you must continue with this. You ARE Queen Amidala. The people of Naboo have elected you to an office of great power. So I will tell you right now that your thoughts of stepping down before the next election are absolutely ridiculous."

Padme opened her mouth to refute his statement, but the look he gave her made her think better of that course of action.

"Yes, I know you never said anything about stepping down before the next election. But I was allowed just a small amount of access to your thoughts. Just enough to know the idea was there. I didn't think you'd actually act on such an idea, but I decided to say something anyway. You did say you wanted my advice earlier. That's probably the most direct advice I'll give you during my visit. To step down would do a disservice to your people and to yourself. And I think you know that."

She nodded, a little taken aback by the heat in his voice. Clearly, he had never expected her to even think of such a thing and she was very sure that he had been disappointed to discover she had been entertaining the idea. Truthfully, she was rather ashamed of that fact herself.

"I have no intention of stepping down before my term is over," she reassured him.

"Your willingness to put others before yourself is part of what makes you such a good leader. It's also part of why I admire you so much. It's a wonderful trait to have, Padme. But going back to my original point…serve out your term as queen, just as you swore to do when you accepted the throne. In the meantime, continue to meditate. Eventually, I believe you will be led to the right decision."

"How will I know it's the right decision?" Padme persisted.

He smiled over at her and shook his head.

"You'll know."

"Very helpful," she scoffed at him as they entered the palace.

"Well, I do my best," he retorted drily.

Padme laughed and was actually shocked by the sound. How long had it been since she had truly laughed? Weeks? Months? She was stunned by the fact that she couldn't remember.

"I suppose this makes me your padawan?" she asked, feeling playful all of a sudden. "Since you've taught me meditation and everything. When do I get to learn lightsaber combat?"

He smiled then. A full smile that she hadn't seen on his face since his arrival. The sight served to chase her darker thoughts even further into the back of her mind. Obi-Wan's smile was infectious, to say the least. It was difficult to feel even the slightest bit of gloom when confronted with the wide grin and twinkling blue eyes.

"Alas, Your Majesty. I fear I didn't bring a spare lightsaber to teach you with. If you wish to learn lightsaber combat, you'll have to come back to the Jedi Temple with me."

"Can I get back to you on that in a couple of years?" she continued the teasing, not wanting to return to complete reality just yet.

"Hmmm," Obi-Wan pretended to be mulling it over, stroking his chin as though he were in deep thought. "I'm not sure. Perhaps by then I will have found a different padawan."

"That would be your loss, Knight Kenobi."

They had reached the Queen's private quarters and Padme stood in the corridor with her hand poised above the door handle. As quickly as her playful mood had come, it was gone. Doubt filled her again and she looked over at Obi-Wan, feeling hopeless. Once again, she was enveloped by that wave of warmth, followed quickly by Obi-Wan's arms. He hugged her tightly, as though doing so would transfer all his own strength into her.

"You can do this," he whispered. "It will take time, but you can get through this. And I'll be right here to help you get started."

She nodded against his shoulder, mentally thanking the Force for giving her such a dear friend. When he pulled away from her, she gave him a shaky smile. He was right about needing more time and he would be here for a few more days at least. That thought was very reassuring.

"I should get ready for dinner," she said, opening the door just a crack. "You're joining us, aren't you?"

Obi-Wan frowned just a bit and Padme noticed for the first time that he seemed more than a little tired.

"Actually, if you don't mind, I'd like to go ahead and get some rest. Unless you would really like me to be there."

Yes, she would really like him to be there. But Padme had the feeling that Obi-Wan needed to do something other than rest. And there would be a few dinners after this one, of course.

"Of course I don't mind. You must be tired. Do you want me to have them bring some food to you, though?"

To her surprise, he shook his head.

"No, thank you. I really just need some rest."

It took everything in her to not ask him what was wrong. Clearly, though, he would've told her if he wanted to do so. So Padme just smiled as she opened the door a little wider.

"Alright then. Good night, Obi-Wan."

"Good night, Padme."

The door shut behind her and Padme hesitated for only a second, wanting to open it again and try to help Obi-Wan. Logic prevailed, however, and she focused on preparing for her dinner with Anakin and Qui-Gon. She was very happy to see both of them again and she was curious to hear about Ani's first year at the Jedi Temple.

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><p>Obi-Wan let out an audible moan as he sank onto the bed in his room. By the Force, why couldn't the beds in the Jedi Temple be this comfortable? He was exhausted. Helping Padme through her meditation had been more tiring than he thought it would be, which truly surprised him. She was stronger in the Force than he had initially suspected. In fact, there really wasn't a reason she couldn't have been accepted for Jedi training. As far as her connection to the Force went, she was not as strong as most Jedi, but he had no doubt that she would have been taken to the Temple.<p>

He imagined her parents had simply refused, as was their right, and later told their daughter that she simply 'didn't have the potential to be a Jedi'. After all, what child growing up in the Republic didn't want to be a Jedi? Owen had wanted to be one very badly, something Obi-Wan didn't fully understand until he was in his teens. The two younger Kenobi siblings had something that the oldest could not attain and the rift between them grew until Owen simply refused to visit them anymore. And after their argument at Owen's wedding, Obi-Wan had been told in no uncertain terms that he was no longer welcome in Dearic. Only Lea visited their brother now and even that was at the request of their mother.

Yes, Obi-Wan knew far too well what could happen when a child couldn't be a Jedi. Owen had resented their parents and he didn't even have the ability to be a Jedi. So Obi-Wan understood why the Naberries would've told a young Padme she couldn't be a Jedi rather than risk a child's resentment over being denied such a thing. Although he didn't believe Padme would've resented their actions for long. She was far more understanding than his brother ever had been.

He was allowing his thoughts to wander because he didn't want to think about what he had felt as Padme meditated. There was a darkness that threatened everything around them, something he didn't understand. It wasn't visible of course. He might've dismissed it as being nothing more than Padme's own negative emotions making their presence known to him. But it didn't feel like that. It felt…empty. Frighteningly empty. And wholly evil.

She wasn't in any danger. Obi-Wan was sure of that. At the moment, Padme was her own worst enemy and he was confident that he had steered her away from the path of self-destruction she had been on. All she needed was a bit more guidance. What he had sensed wasn't a physical threat, either. At least not yet. Something the future held, perhaps?

Obi-Wan sighed. He was so very tired. He longed to speak to another Jedi about his experience. He thought of Qui-Gon, but the idea was dismissed almost as soon as it came. It was still difficult to speak to Qui-Gon about some things and, apparently, this was one of them.

For a moment, he thought about trying to contact Siri or Corana…possibly even Mace. Again, his idea was dismissed. Firstly because he knew it was still very early in the morning on Coruscant. Too early even for the Jedi to be awake yet. And secondly because all his things were in a bag across the room. He would either have to bring it to him using the Force or get up and walk over to it. Neither idea seemed all that spectacular to Obi-Wan. So he continued to lay across the bed, his feet dangling off one side, telling himself that he would stay awake long enough to be sure he wouldn't wake anyone he contacted on Coruscant. In the meantime, he would just rest his eyes…

************  
><em>A woman stood on the balcony of an apartment in Coruscant, the white cloak she wore contrasting starkly with the night sky. She seemed very small in comparison to the tall man who stood in front of her, holding her hand in his own. The features of both were blurred, as though they were running past Obi-Wan…although they were standing perfectly still. The voices were slightly distorted, but Obi-Wan thought something about the woman's voice sounded familiar.<em>

'_The Force is very powerful,' the man was saying. 'Powerful enough to even prevent death. I could learn how to do this. I __**will**__ learn how to do this. I can't lose you like I lost my mother. I will save you.'_

_Obi-Wan could feel the fear radiating off the woman in waves. She was clearly terrified of the man's words, but she did not move away from him. _

'_You can't be serious! Using the Force to…to cheat death? That's not how the Force works! It's unnatural!'_

_They stood there for a second longer before the man suddenly closed the distance between the two of them, pulling the woman to him in a frenzied kiss that was clearly not something she was interested in. Obi-Wan tried to move towards them, to say something, but found he was incapable of doing either. _

_He knew what was happening to the woman and was powerless to stop it. She clung desperately to the cloak she wore with one hand while trying to push the man away with the other. But she was hopelessly outclassed physically. She said something that clearly enraged the man and all pretense of romance was quickly abandoned. The cloak she wore was ripped off her and thrown completely off the balcony into the night, eliciting an anguished cry from her lips._

'_Don't you dare speak his name!' the man shouted. 'This is me now! I'm the one who truly loves you! I'm the one who would do anything to protect you! Say you love me!'_

_The woman was openly weeping now, still turned to the spot where her cloak had disappeared over the balcony's edge. He grabbed her and forcibly turned her back towards him. _

'_Say it!'_

_Everything seemed deathly silent all of a sudden. The woman stood in a defiant pose and the loss of her cloak revealed to Obi-Wan that she was clearly expecting a child._

'_I love Obi-Wan.'_

_The man clenched his fists in a rage._

'_WHO do you love?' he asked in a quiet tone that was far more menacing than the yelling he had done earlier._

'_Obi-Wan.'_

_The woman began to choke as the man brought his hand up. He was Force choking her! Was he a Sith? Obi-Wan renewed his efforts to move and speak, but had no more success than the last time. The man released her and the woman gasped for breath._

'_Who do you love?' he was yelling once again._

'_OBI-WAN!' she summoned the strength to yell. 'Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan!'_

"Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan?"

Obi-Wan bolted upright on his bed, his clothes practically drenched with sweat. Another knock sounded on his door. Gathering his wits quickly, he jumped up and almost ran to open it.

Sabe stood on the other side.

"Obi-Wan, I'm sorry to disturb you. Padme was getting worried. You've been asleep for nearly fourteen hours."

Fourteen hours?

"I…I'm so sorry. I must have been more tired than I thought. Please tell her I'm fine and that I'll, um, I'll be out soon."

Sabe gave him a curious look, but nodded her agreement and then repeated her statements from the day before.

"I'm glad you came, Obi-Wan. It's good to see you again."

She smiled and Obi-Wan couldn't help but smile back in spite of his state of confusion.

"It's good to see you too, Sabe."

The handmaiden left then and Obi-Wan shook himself trying to let his brain catch up to the rest of him. He must've had a bad dream. Something about a balcony and a cloak… He closed his eyes and relaxed, allowing the Force to flow through him in the hopes that he would be able to recall more of the dream. But beyond a balcony in Coruscant and a white cloak, the dream eluded him. After a moment, he sighed and opened his eyes again. He began to get cleaned up, reflecting that if it had been all that important, he would surely be able to remember more of the details.

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: First of all, thank you, thank you, thank you for the lovely reviews! And I thank all of those who have favorited/followed as well. I try to respond to reviews, but it's rare that I get the chance to do so because, up until today, my internet access has pretty much been limited to my phone. My parents got internet at their house and I'm over for a visit this afternoon, so I figured...hey, why not update this story?

Here I am, posting this chapter that has been done for...like...a month. I do so in the hopes that will kick start the part I'm stuck on in the NEXT chapter.

Here we delve into some OOC behavior for Obi-Wan. At least, OOC for Obi-Wan as we know him. Again, please remember that this is a Jedi Order which not only allows attachments, but encourages them. I wanted to write a bit with Sola. She is a relatively minor character who, for some reason, fascinates me. I could've done it between her and Padme. I felt, however, that it would be too heavy emotionally. And we're not done with heavy emotions regarding Padme during this visit. So I made this chapter a bit lighter and took the opportunity to even explore Obi-Wan's emotions regarding Qui-Gon a little.

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><p>It was nice, Obi-Wan thought to himself, to be on a planet like Naboo with a relatively carefree mind. He wasn't concerned about Qui-Gon's state of health, he wasn't slightly broody over the fact that he was apparently being replaced by a young boy none of them really knew, and he wasn't terribly worried that an army of droids with blasters would be around the next corner. He was, of course, still thinking about Padme and her own problems. But since he was reasonably certain that things were beginning to look up in that regard, it didn't weigh too heavily on his mind at the moment.<p>

The only thing at present to cause him any worry was the fact that Anakin might accidentally injure Padme as they wrestled in the gardens behind the Naberrie home. He watched them from the kitchen window, unable to keep from smiling. The whole thing had started innocently enough. Anakin volunteered to show Padme a few of the moves he had learned so far in his combat training and, since Padme was trained in a few things herself, it had quickly dissolved into something between playful hand-to-hand sparring and some sort of disorganized wrestling match.

He reasoned that he shouldn't be too worried. Padme would be careful, he knew, and Anakin hadn't learned too much as of yet. Qui-Gon had only started his sparring lessons a few months ago. And the lightsaber training had begun just a few weeks before their mission.

Obi-Wan's smile widened as he looked back on that particular memory. He, Siri, and Corana had gone to watch Anakin's first session with the practice 'sabers. Mace and Yoda, at the request of Qui-Gon, had also been present. Ani was a quick learner when it came to the stances and movements of combat. It hadn't taken long for Obi-Wan to see that he was a natural. There were really only a couple of flaws as the boy mirrored the movements his master took him through. He kept trying to emulate the older Jedi's height, which meant he spent a good deal of his time on tiptoe and no amount of admonishment from Qui-Gon seemed to break him of the habit.

The other thing…Obi-Wan didn't really consider much of a flaw. Anakin had simply done what he himself had wanted to do the first few times he had a sparring lesson. Obi-Wan had been too self-conscious. Ani, not having that problem at all, made lightsaber noises with his mouth every time he moved the training saber. Master Yoda had seemed annoyed by this little trait, but both Corana and Siri had pronounced it adorable. And Obi-Wan had been fairly certain that Mace was trying not to laugh.

Obi-Wan reflected that Master Yoda could be a bit of a stick in the mud at times.

The sound of Padme's laughter jerked him back into the present. Anakin had lost, it seemed. Padme held the squirming boy down with her hands, grinning over her victory. She was stronger than she looked, even though she wasn't as physically healthy as she should be. Obi-Wan knew that and wondered briefly if he should've warned Anakin of this fact. Ani's shriek pierced the air as Padme began to tickle him in earnest.

No. Some lessons needed to be discovered on their own. And this was more fun.

"It's good to hear her laugh again."

He turned to find Sola standing behind him. She hadn't spoken to him much beyond their initial greeting. All through the lunch Padme's mother had prepared, she had actually only spoken at length to Anakin. Sola seemed to be at great ease with the young boy and Obi-Wan suspected that was why she was so eager to start a family of her own. Too eager, Padme had once said. But Obi-Wan didn't think there was such a thing, really. Not when it came to family.

"Mother needs a few things from the market. I was going to get them for her and I wondered if you'd like to come along."

Ah. He had wondered which Naberrie family member would have the assignment of finding out more about this sudden visit from the Jedi. Apparently, it would be Sola doing the questioning. Very well, then.

"That sounds lovely," he agreed. She seemed a bit surprised at his acceptance, but didn't let it show too much. Obi-Wan spoke briefly to Qui-Gon, letting him know where he would be, and then he and Sola left the Naberrie residence.

Sola didn't really say anything for a while and Obi-Wan was content to take in the sights of Theed. Or rather the outskirts of Theed. He was very glad Padme had come up with the idea of going to visit her family. He thought perhaps it would help her in regards to regaining focus on certain matters. Sometimes, when he was troubled, nothing helped to calm him more than spending a little time with Lea. He could only imagine it was due to the connection they shared as brother and sister, since no one could accuse Lea of being particularly soothing by nature. She was well-known for her almost frenetic vitality, a trait which probably explained her inherent gift for Ataru, and people usually found her presence energizing rather than calming. Obi-Wan, however, always found he was able to relax more when spending time with her. He was profoundly grateful that his sister had been able to train as a Jedi along with him.

A day with her family could definitely help things along where Padme was concerned. Panaka hadn't been thrilled about her plans to walk through Theed to her parents' home, however. It was a fairly long walk and Padme stubbornly refused to take any security. Obi-Wan had sympathized with Panaka's position, although he knew that both he and Qui-Gon would be alert for any sign of trouble.

"She looks ill."

They were nearly halfway to the market and Sola, apparently, had decided to simply call things as she saw them. He was grateful to her for that decision. It made things easier.

"Would you believe me if I said she actually looks better now than she did when we arrived yesterday?" he inquired. Sola only hesitated for a bit before answering.

"I would."

Obi-Wan, for reasons he didn't fully understand, found Sola somewhat fascinating. Her presence in the Force was a complete opposite of her sister's. She was…restful. Deep currents of contentment flowed around her and from her. Although she was young, it was clear to Obi-Wan that Sola knew her place in life and was more than happy with that knowledge. He detected the steely nature of her personality, however, and recognized that she was incredibly protective of her younger sister.

"Sabe promised me that she would take care of her," Sola's tone was soft, but Obi-Wan easily read the underlying anger. And…jealousy? This would never do.

"With all due respect, milady," he began cautiously, "none of this is Sabe's fault. I imagine you know better than anyone just how stubborn your sister can be. I suspect that Padme would not be in the shape she is in if she had simply confided in someone before now. Anyone. You, Sabe, your parents…"

He trailed off, letting her digest his words and hoping that he hadn't overstepped his bounds. Sola was someone he would like to have for a friend. An ally in helping to make sure that Padme didn't let herself become overwhelmed by guilt anymore.

"Sola," she finally said.

"Excuse me?"

"You called me 'milady'. I would prefer Sola, if you don't mind. It's what all my friends call me," she smiled a little then and Obi-Wan grinned.

"Then Sola it is. And you should call me Obi-Wan. When you greeted me with 'Knight Kenobi', I felt very old indeed."

That made her laugh and Obi-Wan reflected that it sounded quite a bit like Padme's laughter. She sighed before continuing.

"My sister…is far too stubborn. Everyone in our family is, but I'm afraid she outclasses us all in that regard. Sometimes, I wish that she could be content with a future as a wife and a mother. I know she's meant for greater things, though."

"The greatest accomplishment one can hope for is to bring a new life into the universe," Obi-Wan countered. "But I understand what you're saying. Where some would only hope for change, Padme is more determined to actually make it happen. She has the will and the passion to do so, but I think all that turned back on her in this particular case. People forget she's still very young. I have to remind myself sometimes."

Sola nodded her agreement as they came in sight of a small street market. She slowed her pace and Obi-Wan followed suit.

"All of this started with the anniversary of the battle, didn't it?"

He shot a glance towards her, unable to mask his surprise.

"Are all the Naberrie women this perceptive?" he inquired.

She shrugged the question off lightly.

"I knew she was having trouble dealing with the reality of people dying. She would mention things in her messages to me. Things that probably wouldn't mean anything to an acquaintance, but to someone who knows her…I could see she was struggling. I tried to talk to her on a couple of occasions. She changed the subject," Sabe sighed and he had the feeling she was replaying those occasions in her mind. "Our correspondence dwindled somewhat, as though she just couldn't find the time or energy to send me a simple message every once in a while. My friends reminded me that, as Queen of Naboo, her own time was severely limited. But they don't know Padme the way I do. She always finds time for her family. I used to hear from her nearly every other day. Sometimes just very short messages, but always something to let me know she was thinking of me. That she was still my baby sister underneath all that makeup and those ridiculously heavy headdresses."

Obi-Wan bit back a smile with that revelation. Evidently, he was not the only one to hear the complaints about how trying it was to deal with all the ornamentation that came with being queen.

"You seem to have helped," Sola continued. "I'm glad someone was able to get through to her."

There was an underlying emotion in her tone that Obi-Wan understood very well. It was something all older children had to come to grips with at some point or another. The disconcerting and sometimes even downright depressing realization that someone other than themselves was suddenly required to "fix" whatever was bothering their younger siblings. In spite of the very special bond between sisters as close as Sola and Padme, Sola was now faced with the fact that she was no longer her sister's main confidante. Obi-Wan had dealt with it years before, when Lea's own friendship with Barriss Offee had deepened and he realized that Lea would never confide everything in him ever again. Which was as it should be. At that age, Lea had needed a close female friend and Obi-Wan couldn't think of anyone better than Barriss. It didn't make it any easier to let go, however.

He sighed inwardly, wondering how to best explain the situation to Sola without betraying Padme's confidence. There was no need to go into details about the young queen's thoughts on leaving the political arena. Sola had known there was something to do with the anniversary of the battle, however. And since that's where all of this had begun…

"Padme shoulders a very unique set of responsibilities. Someone her age should never have to make a decision to send people into battle. She has been carrying the guilt of her people's deaths with her ever since she learned lives were lost. I often wondered if it would be too much for her, but I assumed she would confide in someone. Her family, Sabe…even Panaka. I never dreamed she was keeping it all to herself."

"Perhaps if we had pushed her harder?" Sola ventured. Obi-Wan only shook his head.

"No. That probably would've made it worse. I know a little something about guilt," he confessed with a wry smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "I was forced to deal with what I felt, but there was someone in authority over me. Someone I would be in almost constant contact with on a day to day basis. There was nowhere to hide. I imagine your parents might have been able to force the issue. I get the feeling that she managed to keep away from them, however. Who in the palace is going to force the queen to do anything? Advise, yes. Command? Certainly not."

They fell silent as they reached the first stall in the market. Sola made a show of looking over the merchandise, but Obi-Wan could tell her mind was on what he had just said. One particular item caught his eye, however, and he quickly selected a shuura fruit.

"Want one?" he asked Sola, who was watching him with wide eyes.

"You can't possibly be hungry again," the disbelief was more than apparent in her voice, although he could tell she was amused as well.

Jobal Naberrie had cooked enough food to feed a small army and all of it had been absolutely amazing. Obi-Wan knew he must look like a horrible pig to Sola, but he merely shrugged.

"I'm not, actually," he confided. "I love these, though. Never could pass up a chance to eat one."

"Hopeless. Just like most men," Sola smiled and shook her head, clearly happy with the lighter turn their conversation was taking.

"Guilty as charged," Obi-Wan replied, winking at the young woman running the stall as he handed her a couple of credits. A light blush colored her cheeks as she took the money from him.

Obi-Wan never was one for delaying when it came to shuura fruit. He'd already taken his first bite before they'd started moving on to other stalls.

"Are you aware that you're a horrible flirt?" Sola asked as they walked.

"Do you mean that I'm not good at flirting? Or that I flirt too much?" he returned her question with one of his own. He smirked slightly before continuing. "I hope you mean that I do it too much. I've always thought I was rather good at flirting."

"You're doing it right now!" Sola exclaimed, her smile widening. "Knight Kenobi, you are aware that I'm spoken for aren't you?"

He grinned, relishing the playful conversation.

"Now who's flirting?" he accused. Sola shrugged in response. "In all seriousness, though…yes. I'm painfully aware that I'm a flirt. It's not necessarily a good trait to have, especially for a Jedi. Qui-Gon tried to break me of it, but that lesson clearly didn't take. At least not completely. Believe me when I say that I was much worse when I was younger. Luckily, Siri is a bit of a flirt as well. So there's not very much trouble there."

Well, aside from her issues with Usaki, Obi-Wan thought. But that certainly wasn't a topic up for discussion with anyone aside from Siri herself. Truthfully, he couldn't understand why he was being so open with Sola. He wondered if it was just an effect the Naberrie women had on people.

"Well, I'm glad you didn't use too much of your charm with Padme. She was quite taken with you once you left to go back to Coruscant. Although I think you might've known that."

He nodded and smiled slightly. In the early days of his correspondence with Padme, it hadn't taken long for Siri to teasingly announce that the young queen had developed a crush on him. Although he vehemently denied it, he had to eventually admit that she was right. It hadn't concerned him, though. He had suffered through Lea's teen years as only an older brother could and he knew better than to think a fifteen year old girl's crush would last very long. Especially since he wasn't anywhere near Naboo.

The wording of her letters had changed over the past year, gradually losing the almost worshipful tone. He understood that she considered him one of her best friends, just as he considered her one of his. The rapidity with which they had established this connection still astonished him at times. But he was confident that she no longer harbored any 'romantic' feelings towards him.

"Don't give me all the credit," he responded. "I was having problems of my own during my first visit to Naboo. Starting a friendship with your sister was the one bright spot in the whole ordeal. It was nice to have someone to talk to that had a different perspective on things."

"And now you're helping her in return?" came the inquiry. Obi-Wan cast a sideways glance at Sola, a little concerned about the hesitancy that had suddenly crept into her voice.

"I suppose I am," he agreed as he followed her over to a larger stall that was selling various trinkets. "I certainly hope that what I'm teaching her will help. From what I've seen so far, she's been started on the right path."

Sola began examining some of the items that were on display. Obi-Wan watched her closely. Like her sister, she was very good at masking her emotions on the surface. Unfortunately for both girls, he was able to sense things underneath the surface. As soon as the conversation had turned back to helping Padme, Sola's emotions had become nearly tumultuous. Concern, frustration…fear. She dealt well with all of it, though. Obi-Wan had to admit that much.

After paying for her purchase, Sola indicated that they should head back to her parents' home. Obi-Wan raised his eyebrows.

"Your mother sent you to the market to buy two small silver bowls?" he asked. She fidgeted slightly, the first time he had seen her uncomfortable during their entire conversation.

"Well…we are out of shuura fruit. Mother usually makes sure we have plenty when Padme visits because they're her favorite. But since we didn't know she was coming this time, I better get a few of those, too. Mother is determined that all of you will stay for dinner as well. We can have them for dessert."

She headed back towards the stall they had stopped by earlier. Obi-Wan followed without protest, both amused and slightly irritated over the fact that Sola was suddenly beating around the bush regarding Padme.

Silence reigned for a good portion of their walk back to the Naberrie residence. Obi-Wan finally broke the sudden tension by being mischievous. Sola had refused his offer to carry the small basket containing the aforementioned bowls and fruit, most likely out of concern that he would gobble up all the shuuras before they got home. Obi-Wan had the grace to admit her concern was valid. It was painfully clear that she was, for some reason, worried about something aside from the fact that Padme was having a hard time. He was determined to find out what the problem was.

Holding his right hand out slightly, Obi-Wan unabashedly and unashamedly used the Force to pluck one of the shuuras from its resting place in the basket. Sola stopped in shock, following the floating fruit with her eyes until it settled quite neatly in Obi-Wan's waiting hand. She stared at him as he gave her an unapologetic grin and took a bite.

"That's cheating, you know," she finally said.

"They say cheaters never prosper," he commented, making a show of examining his ill-gotten gain. "But it seems to me that I won out in this particular case."

Sola smiled and Obi-Wan took advantage of the more easygoing atmosphere in the conversation.

"Now, before we get back to your parents' home, do you suppose you could tell me what else is bothering you?"

Her smile faded, but he was relieved to note that the tension which had been present only a few moments before was gone.

"What are you teaching her?" she finally asked.

The question took him slightly off-guard. He wasn't sure why she would be concerned about his method of helping Padme. Although, now that he thought about it, it would make sense that she would be curious. It would take too long, of course, to explain everything in detail. He opted instead to be a little more simplistic with his answer.

"Generally speaking, I'm guiding her through a basic Jedi meditation. We'll only be here for a few days, but Padme is an intelligent and determined person. In addition, simply because she's older, she already possesses levels of patience that most Jedi do not when they begin this particular exercise. At least I know I didn't. It would be more difficult if she wasn't very strong in the Force, but…" he trailed off as he suddenly realized what Sola's concern was. "You knew she was offered a place at the Jedi Temple."

Sola nodded.

"I was only six at the time. Padme was three," she fiddled with the handle on the basket as she recounted the memory. "My parents don't know that I heard the conversation. I was supposed to be in bed. You…you aren't going to tell her, are you? If it was just a simple matter of being kept in the dark about the whole thing, I don't think she'd care. I know my sister has never had an overwhelming desire to be a Jedi. Or really any desire to be a Jedi. But neighbors knew about the visit from the Jedi, gossip spread, and Padme found out about the whole thing at school one day. My parents had to tell her something. Just not knowing about it is one thing. But to learn that my parents actually lied to her…she would be so hurt. Even if she knew they did it simply to protect her."

Obi-Wan shook his head, wondering if Padme's parents were harboring the same concerns. While he understood their position, he couldn't quite bring himself to agree with it. Maybe if he had children of his own, he might. He did know, however, that Padme absolutely hated duplicity of any kind. For that reason, he had already decided there was no reason to reveal the secret her parents kept. Of course, if she ever discovered the truth, that put him squarely in the line of fire as well. But he'd risk it.

"I have no intention of telling Padme anything about it. I'm her friend. I like to think that I'm one of her very few close friends. But this involves family and it's not my place to tell her such a thing."

Relief flooded Sola's face and she quickly darted towards him, planting an unexpected kiss on his cheek.

"Thank you," she said quietly. Her cheeks flushed as she realized what she'd just done. Clearly, Sola was not given to impetuous behavior. Obi-Wan teased her lightly in the hopes that he could set her mind at ease.

"I thought you were spoken for, Miss Naberrie," his tone slightly chastising. The conversation was thus diverted, just as he'd hoped it would be. They spent the rest of the walk speaking of Sola's life at the university and her plans to marry the next year. It was quite obvious to Obi-Wan that she was absolutely head over heels in love with Darred. From all he was hearing, the feeling was more than mutual.

By the time they got back to the house, he had learned all of Sola and Darred's plans. The couple clearly had things figured out. He knew Padme thought her sister was marrying too young, but he couldn't bring himself to agree with his friend on this particular point. Sola seemed to know just exactly what she was entering into and she was doing so without reservations. All the talk, however, did make him painfully aware of how much he missed Siri. He resolved to contact her as soon as they got back to the palace that night. Even if he did wake her up, he knew she wouldn't mind.

The sight of everyone seated at the dining room table made Obi-Wan wonder if it was time for dinner already. Surely not. He didn't think he could handle anymore food at the moment. To his relief, he saw that everyone was merely drinking what looked to be some hot tea. That…actually sounded good. His eyebrows shot up as he took in the sight of Anakin cheerfully shoveling yet another helping of food into his mouth. He shook his head in disbelief as he sat down with the rest of the group.

"Don't you ever feed him?" Obi-Wan asked Qui-Gon, who was seated to his left. Anakin, it seemed, was far too engrossed in his food to pay any attention to other things. He hadn't even noticed Obi-Wan and Sola enter the room. Everyone wore varying looks of amusement as they watched the young padawan enjoy Jobal's cooking.

"Growing boys," the older Jedi replied with a smile. "You were the same once. I seem to recall the first time you were left on your own for more than a day while I was on a mission. You were sixteen, I believe, and the mission…well, the Council felt it was better for any padawans to stay behind. I wasn't overly concerned. You were in the Jedi Temple, after all. There's really no safer place in the galaxy. And in spite of that fact, I had asked Corana to make sure you were alright…without letting you know that's what she was doing, of course. You had a very fragile ego when you were younger."

Obi-Wan scowled at his former Master, who was unaffected by the look. Padme, sitting across from Obi-Wan, giggled and Obi-Wan scowled at her, which made her want to laugh even more. In desperation, she disguised it with a cough that wasn't fooling anyone.

"The kitchen was pretty much fully stocked before I left. We had enough food to feed both of us for a week. So imagine my surprise when I returned four days later and was greeted with an upbraiding from Corana. It seems I went off and left you to 'starve', although if you ask me a sixteen year old boy should be fully capable of getting some food to his own quarters. Or you could've eaten in the main hall."

The scowl increased.

"With all the younglings? No, thank you."

"No sixteen year old boy would want to be seen eating with a bunch of children," Ruwee grinned. "You had your reputation to consider, after all."

"Reputation as a food compactor, perhaps," Qui-Gon deadpanned.

Padme gave up all pretenses and burst into laughter.

"Stop that," Obi-Wan nudged her foot with his under the table. "It's not that funny."

"If you could only see the look on your face…" she snickered. When Obi-Wan looked down the table and saw that even Jobal was smiling, he knew his cause was lost.

"Oh, I'm sorry I even brought it up," he muttered, trying very hard to look annoyed and not succeeding in the slightest. Qui-Gon nudged him slightly with his elbow and Obi-Wan looked over to find a wonderfully familiar look on his former master's face. It was one he hadn't seen since Qui-Gon's announcement of taking Anakin as a padawan. A look that would mean nothing to any observer, but which communicated to Obi-Wan just how much Qui-Gon loved him.

The emotions elicited by this simple glance threatened to overwhelm Obi-Wan all at once and he barely managed to smile at Qui-Gon before he had to turn away. While he was happy that this trip was clearly doing more to mend his relationship with Qui-Gon than he had thought possible, every little improvement brought with it a rush of feeling that he had difficulty releasing into the Force. Searching for a distraction, he turned his attention to Padme.

"We brought some shuura fruit back from the market," he told her. "Sola said it's your favorite."

Padme's face lit up.

"It IS my favorite," she informed him. "Mother doesn't care for it, but she usually has some whenever I come to visit."

"I'll make some shuura tarts for our dinner dessert tonight," Jobal promised her youngest daughter. Her response was a brilliant smile and a return promise of assistance.

"Tarts?" came Anakin's sudden inquiry. Obi-Wan rolled his eyes and Qui-Gon shook his head in gentle amusement.

"Repeatedly say 'Anakin, stop levitating Master Windu's cat' and he doesn't seem to hear," Qui-Gon remarked teasingly. "Mention the word 'tarts' once in a conversation that doesn't even involve him and he's suddenly all ears."

Obi-Wan couldn't help but smirk as he recalled that particular incident. He said nothing, observing the amusement of Padme and Sola as Anakin defended himself. Qui-Gon continued to rib his padawan about poor Pouncer, greatly dramatizing the situation. Just as Obi-Wan had known he would do. It was a favorite tactic of Qui-Gon's and Obi-Wan had already heard this particular back and forth several times since the whole thing occurred. Honestly, though, it never got old. Pouring himself a cup of tea, he sat back in his chair and exchanged a grin with Padme while Anakin protested that he really hadn't heard Qui-Gon say anything at all.

As the familiar teasing of his former master started up again, Obi-Wan admitted to himself once more that, aside from Padme's problem, this trip wasn't nearly as bad as he had thought it would be.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: In the spirit of one of my favorite shows,_ Friends_, I hereby name this chapter **The One Where Everything Rapidly Goes Downhill. **There's not going to just be an overnight turn around for Padme. It's been a really rough couple of months for me and, quite frankly, my head has been in a dark place. So angst is what's coming out when I write. Primarily. There was a small break in which I started a humor fic for The Avengers. It's been hard to write the second chapter. Things are looking up, though, so perhaps there will be light at the end of the tunnel soon.

We're picking up back at the palace, after the day's visit with the Naberrie clan. Focus will shift between Obi-Wan and Padme. And off we go.

* * *

><p>"<em>So you think this will really help her?"<em>

Obi-Wan eyed the holo-image of Siri in surprise.

"Do you think it won't?" he asked her in response. She sighed, clearly annoyed with his habit of answering her question with one of his own.

"_Obi-Wan, I'm not saying that. But I'm not there. I'm merely asking if you truly think this is the best thing to do. Master Yoda would probably die of a conniption if he knew you were instructing someone who wasn't a Jedi in meditation practices OF the Jedi."_

He grinned at Siri before replying.

"Master Yoda will never die. Certainly not from anything as mundane as a conniption. As for me instructing an 'outsider' in the ways of the Jedi…there's no reason he has to know."

"_Obi-Wan!"_

"What?" he defended his statement. "Qui-Gon knows and he agreed with me that it was the best course of action. So, technically, I've already obtained permission from a Jedi Master to instruct Padme in any way I see fit. And I see fit to teach her the basics of meditation."

"_After the fact, of course."_

"Again, that's just a need to know piece of information. Since Master Yoda isn't here, then I see no reason why he needs to know."

Siri chuckled.

"_I'm not there and I know about it,"_ she reminded him.

"I wish you were here," Obi-Wan whispered. He was rewarded with a smile and continued in the same vein. "We'll come here together someday, Siri. It's really such a beautiful place and I know Padme would want us to visit."

"_I think that sounds lovely, actually,"_ Siri agreed.

They contemplated one another for a few moments. Siri seemed to be just as content to stare at Obi-Wan's holo-image as he was to stare at hers.

"_I love you,"_ she finally said.

"I love you, too," Obi-Wan wished desperately he could accompany his words with a more physical reassurance. Contacting Siri and talking things over with her had assured him even further that he was doing the right thing as far as Padme was concerned. It was playing havoc with his own personal emotions, however. He missed Siri now more than he had since leaving Coruscant.

"_Poor Obi-Wan,"_ she laughed, knowing just exactly what he was thinking. _"When you get back, we'll spend the entire day together. We'll even have lunch at Dex's, if you like."_

Obi-Wan could think of many other things he'd like to do with Siri once he got back to Coruscant and none of them involved Dex or his diner in any way, shape, or form. Since they had promised one another to wait until after the joining ceremony for THAT particular pleasure, however, he conceded the point. Besides, Siri was making quite a concession. While she liked Dex himself, she wasn't overly fond of going to the diner.

"That would be-"

He was interrupted by a rather agitated knock on his door. Turning back to Siri's holo-image, he saw that she looked as concerned as he felt.

"_What time is it there?"_ she asked.

"Two in the morning," he replied as he went to answer the door. He opened it to reveal Sabe, who was clearly distraught.

"Obi-Wan…" she began. He held up a hand to stop her before she could apologize. Quickly crossing the room again, he brought himself back into the area where Siri could see him.

"_I heard. Go on, Obi-Wan. Let me know if she's okay."_

He gave the holo-image a soft smile of thanks before Siri cut the connection.

* * *

><p>"Our lives are built upon a framework. The framework of privilege and freedom purchased through the blood, sweat and tears of our warriors, these brave Gungans and Noobians. Their hearts have known courage, for they've placed lib-"<p>

"Well…this is coming to a stop right now."

Padme practically jumped out of her skin at the interruption. Directing her gaze in the direction of her bedroom door, she was able to make out the silhouette of Obi-Wan.

"Turn on the lights and leave us alone, please," he said. There was the briefest moment of hesitation before someone, she thought it might be Sabe, did exactly what he had instructed.

Padme was forced to shut her eyes against the flood of light. When she thought her eyes might be adjusted, she opened them once more and immediately wished she hadn't. Obi-Wan was clearly angry. She turned away from him, not wanting to see the condemnation on his face.

"Sabe told me she's caught you doing this before now. She was worried tonight when she realized you were still awake. Why are you looking out the window? What's out there?"

He was next to her before she could say anything. It took only a few seconds for him to find the statue and she knew the second he realized what it was. His jaw visibly tightened and he turned towards her. Padme averted her eyes, but Obi-Wan quickly made it known that he was tired of that tactic.

"By the Force, Padme! Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

She complied, although her eyes didn't quite meet his. It seemed to be enough for him at the moment, however.

"You are a young woman of exceptional talents," he intoned. "I wasn't aware, however, that self-pity and self-recrimination were among them."

There was no tenderness in his voice, no hint of the gentle affection he had shown her during their earlier conversations. She fought the urge to look away again, not wanting to anger him further.

"What I showed you yesterday will not help you at all unless YOU are willing to accept the past and move on with your life. You can't release everything into the Force and then make a determined effort to get all of it back again when you aren't in a state of meditation," he sighed and shook his head. "The problem is that you've thrown yourself into this depression with the same amount of passion usually reserved for your more worthy causes. Now it's come to the point where you seem to almost revel in your misery. Isn't that right?"

Padme didn't respond. Deep down, she felt the truth of his words. She had actually begun the evening trying to do the meditation he had shown her, but a feeling of melancholy kept pulling at her the entire time. The blissful feeling of serenity had remained tantalizingly out of her grasp and Padme eventually gave up, coming to the conclusion that she simply wasn't able to do it on her own.

She could've gone to Obi-Wan. She could've asked for his help. But there actually was a strange sort of comfort in the despair she felt herself sinking into. Padme had begun to rationalize over going to Obi-Wan. It was too late and he was surely already sleeping. She didn't want to wake him. He would be disappointed that she couldn't manage on her own. So Padme had simply given up and returned to her old habits. It was easy. It was familiar.

In its own way, it was peaceful.

"I have to remember them," she finally said. "I owe them that much, at least".

It was the wrong thing to say.

"Yes, wallowing in misery is an excellent way to honor their memories," he snapped, his anger back in full force. She opened her mouth to respond, her own anger finally beginning to surge up, but he cut her off with the closest thing to a shout that she had ever heard from him. "Sabe!"

Padme's bedroom door practically flew open, admitting her decoy and best friend. To Padme's chagrin, Panaka was standing alongside her. Obi-Wan seemed rather pleased to see the captain, however.

"Good," he nodded. "Now I don't have to repeat myself. Padme is moving her quarters temporarily. I believe the room next to mine is empty. Would you get some things together for her tonight, Sabe? We'll move some more of her things tomorrow."

Neither Panaka or Sabe moved at first, mostly because they were too shocked by the circumstances to truly register what had been said. With a slightly impatient huff, Obi-Wan strode over to the nearest wardrobe and opened the top drawer. Padme watched, dumbstruck, as the Jedi seemed to lose all sense of propriety and began to pull out articles of clothing, barely looking at what he tossed behind him. She felt heat spread to her cheeks as she saw one of her more 'intimate' garments sail through the air to land in a silken heap on the bed. Whether it was from embarrassment or her anger, she wasn't sure.

She turned her attention back to her Chief of Security and handmaiden. Surprisingly, Sabe was the first to recover. Taking a deep breath, the young woman began making her way to Obi-Wan. Padme's inner shout of victory was quickly silenced when Sabe bypassed him and disappeared into the large closet. She emerged in mere seconds with one of Padme's less ornate gowns and, after gathering a few things off the bed that Obi-Wan had tossed over his shoulder, Sabe swept out of the room.

"Kenobi, I don't think…" Panaka finally began, causing Padme to cheer internally once more. But Obi-Wan cut him off, his tone harsher than before.

"It's Knight Kenobi, Captain. If you disagree with my actions, take it up with Master Jinn. Otherwise, be sure there are guards stationed outside these quarters at all times. No one is to be allowed in except myself or Sabe. No one," he emphasized his last words, meeting Panaka's gaze steadily.

The two faced off for a moment, a silent battle of wills taking place. Padme wondered to herself why she couldn't seem to speak. She certainly had plenty to say. Was she just that angry over the whole situation?

'_Or perhaps you know this is what you need?' _said a voice in her head. She closed her eyes, not willing to listen to that tiny little voice of reason. She was in no mood to be logical.

"I'll see to it that guards are stationed here," Panaka broke the silence. "But I intend to speak to Master Jinn in the morning."

"Do as you will," Obi-Wan replied, his non-committal shrug indicating his total faith that the other Jedi would back his decision to the hilt.

Padme tried to lock eyes with Panaka as he turned to leave, but the man didn't meet her gaze. Whether or not it was intentional she couldn't say. Somehow, however, it was the final straw. When Panaka was out of sight, she found her voice.

"How dare you."

He looked over at her from across the room. Even from that distance, his anger was clear and Padme had a moment of wondering if it was wise for her to verbally assault him at this point in time. The moment quickly passed.

"How dare you barge into my quarters like this and begin to order everyone around. You are a guest here, Knight Kenobi, not a figure of authority. Certainly not one who has any jurisdiction over what I say or what I do. How I spend my time and where I sleep is absolutely none of your concern."

At some point during her tirade, Obi-Wan had begun to move closer to her. They were barely two feet apart now, both of them facing the other with blazing eyes and tightened jaws.

"You made it my concern when you asked for my help," Obi-Wan's voice was still low and tightly controlled when addressing her. For some reason, it only served to irritate her further.

"Consider my request withdrawn. I don't need or want your help any longer. What I want is for you to leave. You can start by just leaving the room. When I wake up tomorrow, however, I want the first thing I hear to be news of your return to Coruscant," she ignored the flicker of hurt on Obi-Wan's face at her words, although the small part of her that wasn't angry was overwhelmed with guilt at the sight.

Padme gasped when she felt Obi-Wan's hand clasp firmly around her wrist. It didn't hurt at all, but she was nowhere near strong enough to extract her arm from his grip. Any pretense of hiding his anger from her was gone now and he no longer controlled his tone when he spoke.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm a Jedi who has found himself on a planet without an effective leader and it is my sworn duty to bring everything to rights," he was reaching with this statement and Padme knew it, but the phrase 'without an effective leader' hit her harder than anything else he had said. "Force knows why you don't seem to have any sense of self-preservation when it comes to your state of mind, but you are going to get past this one way or another. And you will not be staying in this room a minute longer. I'll drag you out kicking and screaming if necessary."

"I am the Queen!" she shouted, her emotions so jumbled that she was unable to come up with any other argument.

"Then behave like one!" he yelled back.

She felt tears prick the back of her eyes and stubbornly denied them free reign. She would not cry. She was the Queen of Naboo and queens didn't cry.

"It's your decision, Padme." Obi-Wan spoke once more.

Decision. What decision was he giving her? He had practically staged a coup in the space of fifteen minutes. She stared at him, feeling her anger grow even further as she took in his deceptively calm stance and the neutral mask he had slipped over his features.

"I hate you," she whispered. Obi-Wan gave a nod of his head, no flicker of emotion visible on his face upon hearing the words she spoke.

"That's fine. Just go hate me in your new quarters," he responded, releasing her wrist from his grasp.

Clearly, her anger was having no effect on him at all. Furious beyond words, Padme merely glared at Obi-Wan for a moment longer before storming out of the room. She made sure to slam the door behind her, although it was very difficult since the door was so ridiculously large and heavy.

The action was intended to make her feel better. As soon as the noise reverberated through her head, however, all she felt was defeat. All her anger, all her righteous fury just seemed to rush out of her with the next breath she took. She noticed that, mercifully, she was alone in the corridor. At least no one had been witness to her childish action.

Slowly, Padme made her way to the room Sabe was preparing for her. With every step, she pushed away the urge to go back to Obi-Wan and apologize. She had behaved horribly and said awful things to him…but he had responded in the same manner. Instead of focusing on her own transgressions, Padme chose to focus on Obi-Wan's instead. By the time she arrived at the door to the room, she had managed to rekindle a little of her anger again. Sabe was in the room and remained silent while Padme went through her usual motions as though everything was perfectly normal, merely dropping a small curtsey when Padme dismissed her.

As the door closed behind her handmaiden, Padme closed her eyes. She was determined to get some sleep and worry about everything tomorrow. Just as sleep began to claim her, however, Obi-Wan's indifferent expression as she declared her hatred for him drifted through her mind. And she couldn't quite manage to stop the first tear from escaping her eyes, convinced she had just lost one of the dearest friends she'd ever had.

* * *

><p>As the door slammed behind Padme, some hidden corner of Obi-Wan's mind found the energy to be impressed by the amount of strength she must've had to exert to accomplish that action. The rest of his mind, however, was too jumbled up with emotions to pick out a single one to focus on. Sighing wearily, he sank into a nearby chair.<p>

Closing his eyes, Obi-Wan breathed deeply and tried to clear his mind. He wouldn't be able to fix anything without spending some time in meditation and he didn't even want to leave the room without doing just a little bit. If he didn't, he was worried that his anger would just take charge again if he happened to see Padme out in the hallway or even if he just saw the door to her new temporary quarters. No, it was better to try letting go of a few things before he returned to his room.

His anger was fairly easy to let go of, perhaps because he didn't enjoy the feeling of being angry, especially since his battle with Darth Maul. The hurt he was feeling, however, was a different story. It had been easy to give the appearance of shrugging off Padme's statement that she hated him. Once again, his experience with his younger sister had helped him immeasurably. Between the brotherly pleasure he took in annoying Lea and her quick temper, he had heard those own words from his sister's lips too many times to count. He was able to dismiss them without a second thought because he knew Lea would be laughing and joking with him again in ten minutes time.

This was different, though. Lea was his sister. He had known her since she was born and knew she was incapable of actually keeping a grudge, especially against him. Close as their friendship had become, he had no such assurances with Padme. For all he knew, she actually did hate him now. Obi-Wan had no intention of letting such a thing keep him from helping her in any way he could. But the thought of actually losing her friendship was very difficult to bear.

He was too tired to really be able to figure all this out right now. With a sigh of resignation, he stood and began to make his way back to his own room. Contacting Siri again was out of the question. All Obi-Wan wanted to do was try to get some sleep. Pausing at his door, he cast a glance towards the room Padme was in. Briefly, he contemplated reaching out into the Force to sense her emotions. He dismissed the thought just as quickly and entered his room before he could change his mind.

Once inside, he sent a quick message to Siri saying he would contact her sometime tomorrow. Her reply was almost instant and managed to bring a slight smile to his face. Feeling somewhat better, he climbed into bed with the hope that a few hours sleep would help him see things more clearly.

But the silence only made Padme's words taunt him further. Every time he got close to sleep, her voice echoed through his mind over and over again. Tossing and turning, Obi-Wan tried everything he knew to calm his thoughts. Nothing helped.

Sleep eluded both Obi-Wan and Padme that night, leaving them exhausted in more ways than one. So when the morning dawned on Naboo and the city of Theed began to stir, neither of them were all that inclined to fix the damage they had inflicted on their friendship.

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><p>AN: Please feel free to leave a review. Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. Someday, I'll be able to take proper advantage of replying to reviews like the grateful author I truly am.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: When last we left our intrepid heroes, they were definitely not on speaking terms. We pick up the story on the following afternoon. Both Obi-Wan and Padme are feeling very tired, disheartened, hurt, and confused. Which is what tends to happen when emotions run high. Scene: Qui-Gon catches up to Obi-Wan in the palace sometime after lunch.

* * *

><p>"There you are. I was beginning to think your presence on this trip was some trick of the Force."<p>

Obi-Wan couldn't stop the scowl as he turned to face Qui-Gon. His former master arched an eyebrow and crossed his arms, a sure sign that he was waiting for an explanation. Well, Qui-Gon could keep waiting, Obi-Wan thought. He was far too tired and annoyed to play the padawan role right now.

"Did you need something?" he asked, not even trying to keep the irritation out of his voice. This time, both of Qui-Gon's eyebrows went up.

"Yes. I need to know what happened between you and Padme. That had to be the most uncomfortable breakfast I've ever sat through in my life. Even Anakin was subdued. When you didn't show up for lunch, it was even more uncomfortable. As miserable as she was with you there, she seemed even more so when you weren't."

Well, maybe she didn't hate him then. Tired as he was, though, Obi-Wan couldn't work up much happiness over that thought. All he could think of was Padme's stubbornness, his failure to help her and, now, the maddening presence of Qui-Gon.

"I'll fix it," he said, turning to start towards his room again. He had spent most of the morning and part of the afternoon wandering through Theed, hoping the walk would both calm his thoughts and wear his body down enough to make it sleep. It had partially succeeded regarding his first goal and he wanted to see if it would work at all regarding the second.

Qui-Gon, however, didn't seem amenable to Obi-Wan's current plans.

"How?"

"None of your business," snapped Obi-Wan before he could stop himself.

"Actually, I think it _is_ some of my business," Qui-Gon replied, a note of irritation creeping into his voice.

Obi-Wan had reached his limit.

"You gave up your rights to know what happens in my life when you threw me over for the Chosen One. So _actually_, it really is none of your business."

Before he could regret what he had just said, he quickly continued towards his room. This time, Qui-Gon didn't stop him.

"I wish you would talk to me, Padme."

It was rare for Sabe to address her by her given name. So rare that Padme almost gave in to her request. But she wasn't sure she could control her emotions and she needed to keep what little dignity she had left.

"Sabe, I only have three hours before I have to meet with the council. And then we have to get ready for that banquet tonight. I really just want to try to get some sleep."

Looking defeated, Sabe just nodded her head and left the room. Watching her go, Padme felt a stab of guilt for the way she had been treating her friend. Another thing for which she needed to make amends. All she wanted was a small patch of peace before her duties as queen closed in around her once more. Before she absolutely had to be Amidala instead of Padme.

She was dreading the banquet. It was really more of an engagement party than anything else. One of the councilor's daughters had recently agreed to marry one of Naboo's foreign ambassadors. It was a political marriage and the parties involved barely knew one another. Not exactly Padme's idea of a happy occasion. She had subtly attempted to postpone it when she realized it would coincide with the visit from the Jedi, but her attempts had been in vain. So she had settled for hoping Obi-Wan would attend and laugh at everyone with her afterwards.

Now it was just something she had to get through alone. His distance at breakfast and subsequent absence at lunch had confirmed her fears. She had lost his friendship and would simply have to reconcile herself to the fact.

Somehow, this knowledge made her even wearier than she had felt before. Padme sank onto the bed, not even bothering to get under the covers. Closing her eyes, she forced herself to lie completely still. Eventually, it seemed to work. She allowed herself a small smile as she felt herself drifting into what she hoped would be a somewhat restful sleep.

***************************One hour later

Obi-Wan had tossed and turned for nearly half an hour upon returning to his room. His words to Qui-Gon played over and over in his head, making him feel even worse than he had before. They had been on their way to mending so many things between them and now he was sure he had undone all that progress with his thoughtless statement.

He had no idea how he would ever fix all of this. Meditation simply wasn't helping this time around. At least, it was only helping up to a certain point. Finding peace in the Force wasn't a cure-all and should never be treated as such. It was meant to help, not fix everything.

The thought caused a frown to creep slowly across Obi-Wan's face. Had he managed to convey that fact to Padme? Was she pinning all her hopes on the meditation techniques he was teaching her and then just giving up completely when things didn't go well? Obi-Wan groaned as he ran a hand through his hair. He had been so preoccupied with helping her to begin with that he couldn't remember if he'd actually taken the time to explain everything in a manner she could truly understand.

Padme had spent most of her life in politics. She had no knowledge of the Jedi other than what little he had communicated to her over the last year. Instead of just having her jump right into learning how to release her anxieties into the Force, he should've taken the time to give her more background. They should've talked more in depth about reasons and limitations.

But he'd been so worried when he saw her upon his arrival that all he could think about was the fact that his friend was suffering and he could help. He'd let his own emotions cloud his judgment. He had acted impulsively and now…now they were both paying the price. More than ever, Obi-Wan was certain he didn't need a padawan anytime soon. Clearly, he still had much more to learn before he took that particular step.

He did feel, however, that this could be fixed. Assuming Padme would let him help now, he would start the whole process over. They would talk more before he even tried helping her with Force meditation again. And he would apologize for not explaining things more in the first place.

Although his guilt and worry about everything still nagged at him, Obi-Wan felt as though at least a small weight had been lifted from him. He understood a little more now and was more than willing to set things to rights. After he got some rest.

Just as the blissful arms of sleep closed around him, Obi-Wan heard the scream from the next room.

_It was stiflingly hot. The heat was everywhere and Padme felt that the intensity of it should give off some sort of light. But she was surrounded by darkness, which made the heat even more oppressive and the sounds in the distance more terrifying. Although the sound was muffled, Padme felt as though she had heard it before. Faint buzzing interwoven with…crackling? Almost like lightning, but not quite. _

_No matter how much she strained, the noise didn't become any clearer. She tried to walk towards it, but the heat flared up around her every time she attempted a step in any direction. For some reason, she couldn't shake the feeling that someone was in trouble. And she had to help. Somehow, she had to help._

_Then there was another sound. One which rang with perfect clarity in her ears, as if it was right next to her. A scream of anguish and pain that seemed to rip through her very soul. She suddenly felt someone…or something…pressing up against her and the feeling was even more oppressive than the heat. A strong hand grabbed her arm as a distorted voice spoke through the darkness._

"_You belong to me."_

_The hand began to drag her through the heat and Padme screamed as she tried to fight her way out of the stranger's grip. Just as she thought she might be succeeding, the stranger suddenly turned and his hands grabbed her upper arms, shaking her slightly. _

"_Padme," the figure spoke her name as she struggled anew, still screaming for all she was worth. _

"_Padme. Padme, it's me!"_

Who was 'me'? And why wouldn't they just let her go?

"It's me! It's Obi-Wan! Open your eyes, Padme!"

With a start, Padme opened her eyes, jerking her head to the side as she did so. The first thing she saw was an alarmed Panaka, blaster in hand, with three palace guards right behind him. Sabe and Yane stood just a little to the side, both of them armed as well. For a brief moment, Padme wondered if all of them had just been wandering around in front of her door since she went to bed. Then the grip on her arms tightened slightly and she finally turned to look at Obi-Wan.

He was sitting on the side of her bed and had quite literally pulled her up into a sitting position and held her there. Frantically, she searched for any sign of anger or even contempt in his expression. He met her gaze steadily and, upon finding only concern and even perhaps some fear, Padme promptly collapsed against his shoulder.

Tears she had denied for far too long finally surfaced and it wasn't long before she was openly sobbing. Not crying like she did on the day of his arrival, but sobs that made her feel like she was all twisted up inside. Dimly, she heard Obi-Wan telling everyone to leave the room, Sabe convincing Panaka everything would be alright. She felt Obi-Wan shift until he was sitting next to her instead of almost facing her. Padme thought fleetingly that she should be ashamed of the way she was clinging to him like a child, her head resting on his chest and her left hand holding his tunic in an iron grip. But she was past caring and Obi-Wan didn't seem to mind.

Her sobs didn't seem as though they were going to fade anytime soon. She couldn't remember what had scared her so badly. Although some part of her mind tried to hold onto it, tried to remember so she could tell Obi-Wan what had happened, the nightmare she had apparently experienced was just out of her memory's reach. Whatever it was, it had clearly broken the dam of all the emotions she had been trying so hard to control since the Battle of Naboo.

For the first time, she truly let herself mourn all who had been lost on that day. Not as a queen, presiding over memorial services as a source of strength for those who had survived. Not as a citizen of Naboo, keeping up a brave face for the sake of everyone she loved. But as a young girl who was faced with the reality of death for the first time and, in addition, felt the full weight of responsibility for the loss of life which had taken place on her orders. It didn't matter that they had gone to battle with full knowledge that they might not survive. It didn't matter that, in the end, she had been left with no choice but to take her planet back through force. All that mattered was the fact that lives had been lost and, swept up in remaining strong for her people, she had never allowed herself the moments of actual emotional grief she needed.

So it all came out at once, a torrent of tears soaking through Obi-Wan's tunic. Another thing she would be ashamed to remember later. Now, though, she continued to cling to him like a lifeboat. He held her around the shoulders with one arm while the other hand pressed her head against him. He talked to her, although she would never be able to recall exactly what he said. In the end, it didn't really matter what he said. Just the sound of his voice was soothing and Padme held onto it as she rode out the storm of her emotions.

It took the better part of an hour, Obi-Wan figured, for Padme to begin to calm down. Once she did, she didn't seem too inclined to let go of him. Truthfully, he wasn't all that inclined to let go of her. Whatever the nightmare had been, it had clearly terrified her and he was in full protective mode at the moment. He knew, of course, that he couldn't protect her from a nightmare but he felt more assured being right next to her.

Her outburst of tears, while surprising at first, didn't exactly shock him. Obi-Wan had expected that something of the sort might happen, just not all at once. Padme was so controlled, which was part of the problem in this case, that he had expected any outbursts to come in bits and pieces.

Perhaps it was better this way, though. His mouth quirked a bit in disapproval as he wondered if he should've tried to get her to release her grief in a more physical way before attempting to teach her how to release it into the Force. Now that he thought about it, the idea made sense. Well, there was nothing for it now. Once again he came to the conclusion that they'd just need to start over. If she was willing, of course.

Obi-Wan smiled a bit as he heard Padme's breathing start to even out. She had fallen asleep. He couldn't help but be happy over that fact, although it put him at a bit of disadvantage since she still clung to him so tightly. Reluctant to risk waking her, he remained where he was. He would wait a few minutes and give her a chance to fall into a deeper sleep before he returned to his own room.

* * *

><p>Her pillow was moving. That was Padme's first thought as she began to float towards consciousness. Up, down, up, down. Why was it rising and falling? Pillows should be stationary at all times. Forcing herself to open her eyes, it took a moment to realize just exactly why her pillow was not behaving as a pillow should.<p>

Her pillow was the chest of a sleeping Jedi. A sleeping Jedi whose own head was propped up against the headboard of the bed. Padme winced at the sight of the position, certain that Obi-Wan would have a horrible crick in his neck when he woke up. Slowly, not wanting to startle him awake, she climbed off the bed and went around to the side he was sleeping on.

As everything came rushing back to her, she couldn't quite remember the last time she had been this embarrassed. The last thing she wanted to do was face Obi-Wan right now. She realized, however, that the last thing she wanted to do was the exact thing she should do. They needed to talk. More accurately, she needed to apologize. For quite a lot of things. The thought of looking nice ever present in the back of her mind, Padme subconsciously smoothed her hair and straightened her clothes as she attempted to wake up Obi-Wan.

"Obi-Wan," it came out as a whisper and she rolled her eyes. Clearing her throat, she spoke again. "Obi-Wan, wake up. It's…"

Her voice trailed off as she realized she had no idea what time it was. The meeting with the council. The banquet! Where was Sabe? Momentarily forgetting about her attempt to not startle Obi-Wan awake, Padme yanked the door open and came face to face with one of the palace guards. He snapped to attention quickly, looking almost frightened in the process. Too panicked to bother with niceties, she didn't leave him in suspense as to what she wanted.

"Where's Sabe?" she inquired.

"At breakfast, your majesty," he informed her.

Breakfast! But the meeting and the banquet…what about the meeting and the banquet?

"I don't know, your majesty," the guard said, making her realize she had asked the question out loud.

She didn't know what to say. She didn't know what to do. So she stood there for a moment, dumbfounded.

"Shall I let her know you need her, your majesty?"

The question brought her out of her stupor, but she still didn't trust herself to speak. She finally just gave a shake of her head and closed the door. Sabe would come here of her own accord after breakfast. She might've let Padme sleep through the meeting and the banquet, but she wouldn't risk much more than that.

Obi-Wan was awake, sitting on the side of the bed and frowning as he rubbed his neck.

"Ow," was his eloquent verbal greeting.

She sighed and sank into a chair facing him. What a mess all of this was and all because she couldn't control her own emotions. Groaning, she let her head fall into her hands.

"Oh, such a mess. I'm so sorry, Obi-Wan," she

"That's not a proper conversation starter," her guest mused.

Was he joking? Now? Padme looked over at Obi-Wan, stunned to see a wry smile on his face.

"Do you have any idea how long we've been in here?" she asked, unable to keep a slight note of annoyance out of her voice. "All night long, Obi-Wan. Long enough to damage your reputation and mine."

To her astonishment, Obi-Wan's smile widened exponentially.

"THAT'S what you're worried about? That people will say we slept together?" he threw his head back and laughed. "Padme, you've got to be kidding. If anyone knows we were in here together, it's probably Sabe and Panaka. I doubt they're going to be spreading rumors. And you're way too young for people to even be thinking things like that about you, anyway."

Padme scowled as Obi-Wan laughed again.

"I'm not a child, Obi-Wan," she glared at him.

His laughter trailed off as he realized his statement had hurt her. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he regarded her thoughtfully for a few moments. Padme looked down at the floor, a rare feeling of embarrassment sweeping over her.

"No. No, you're not a child. I apologize for implying that you are. It wasn't my intention to do so."

Of course it wasn't. She was being oversensitive and, ironically, also acting like a child. He was right, after all. The chances of anyone knowing about this aside from Sabe and possibly Panaka were ridiculously slim. Padme was still very curious as to how Sabe had managed to make sure she was undisturbed for this long, but that was a question for later. She was suddenly uncomfortably aware of what she had to do. Fiddling with a strand of hair, she began to stammer out an apology.

"Obi-Wan, I…I wanted to tell you I'm sorry."

"Wait. Padme, I need to-."

"No," she cut him off. "No, I need to say this now or I may never get the courage to say it again. I'm not very good at apologizing. Part of my stubborn nature, I'm afraid. My behavior towards you was inexcusable and…" she paused, remembering the flash of hurt in Obi-Wan's eyes when she had told him she wanted him to leave Naboo. The image brought tiny pinpricks to the backs of her own eyes and she rushed ahead. "I'm so sorry I hurt you. I can't…I can't believe I hurt you. It's the last thing I would ever want to do."

She closed her eyes, willing herself not to cry. Surely Obi-Wan had seen enough of that. When she managed to get her emotions under her control again, she opened her eyes to find Obi-Wan still sitting on the side of the bed, a somewhat pained look on his face. For a moment, she thought that perhaps her apology wasn't enough after all.

"I should apologize to you, Padme."

Well, now she was confused. He continued before she could say anything.

"First off, my own behavior last night or…well, night before last I suppose? Ah, I suppose it doesn't matter. What does matter is that my own behavior wasn't what it should be. I let my anger get the better of me and that is something I should have better control over. More importantly than that, however, is the fact that I believe I've gone about helping you in the wrong way."

"How so?" Padme inquired, genuinely curious as to what Obi-Wan was thinking.

"I still think that the meditation techniques I've shown you will help you. But I overlooked two things. To begin with, I believe I have given you the wrong impression about Force meditation. I think you pinned all your hopes on it helping you and I'm to blame for that. I've only ever tried to assist Anakin with his meditation and his basic knowledge had already been given to him by Qui-Gon. If you're willing, I want to try to explain it a little more in depth to you."

His eyes searched her own, clearly waiting for her to respond in some way. Padme nodded her head slightly in agreement. She didn't understand exactly how what he was proposing would help her, but she still trusted him. A look of relief passed over his face before he went on.

"As a Jedi, I sometimes tend to forget the importance of releasing emotions physically as well as mentally. Years of training have enabled me to use the Force almost exclusively for that, but there are occasions when I need a good round of sparring with someone or a long talk with a friend. You haven't received the training I have and I believe that's something I should've taken into account. Padme, you've carried so much grief and guilt with you for the past year. You've pinned it all up inside and I only managed to provoke you into letting a little of it out on my first day here. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

She gave him a slight smile as she sat down next to him.

"You want me to spar with you?"

Obi-Wan chuckled softly and draped his arm around Padme. Feeling that familiar wave of warmth again, she sighed in contentment and let her head drop to rest on his shoulder.

"I'll spar with you if you want me to, your majesty," he informed her, his voice adopting a hint of teasing before he returned to a more serious tone. "But I think if I had provoked more of an emotional reaction from you upon my arrival, you wouldn't have had to deal with your outburst last night. Whatever your nightmare was last night, I think it pushed everything over the edge. Do you…do you remember anything about it?"

His hesitation indicated that he didn't want to ask her if it was going to cause her any pain. But Padme truly couldn't recall anything from her dream. All she remembered was feeling utterly terrified and then having everything come crashing down around her as she collapsed against Obi-Wan.

"I'm sorry, Obi-Wan. I really don't."

"Don't apologize. It may be for the best that you don't remember. In the meantime, though-."

A knock on the door interrupted Obi-Wan and Padme went over to answer it. Cracking it open slightly, she gave a sigh of relief and opened it fully to allow Sabe in. Her handmaiden looked her over and smiled mischievously.

"Do I even want to know how you managed to pull off both the banquet and the council meeting without me?" Padme asked, feigning irritation. Sabe's grin remained.

"The council meeting was rescheduled for this afternoon. As for the banquet, you should thank me. It was everything we thought it would be. The bride to be looked both beautiful and forlorn while the groom cut a dashing figure and made no effort to hide how bored he was with everything around him."

Padme groaned. How she hated political marriages. But she couldn't exactly enact a ban on them. People, especially the kind of people who arranged such marriages in the first place, would always find a way.

"Both of them in love with someone else?" she was unable to keep herself from asking.

"I think she might be. He seems happy enough with himself, to be honest."

Obi-Wan snickered and the sound triggered a laugh from Padme. There wasn't much time for fun, however. Padme knew Sabe had come because she simply couldn't go on pretending to be the queen indefinitely. She was surprised to realize that, although she didn't relish the thought of returning to her duties, she didn't want to completely turn away from them, either.

"I'm sorry, Obi-Wan. I'm afraid that royal duty calls," she told him as Sabe began to bring out a fresh dress for Padme to change into.

"No need to apologize. I have a few things that I need to do as well," he informed her, a small grimace crossing his face. "I'm afraid you're not the only one I need to apologize to."

She wasn't sure how, but Padme knew instinctively that Obi-Wan was referring to Qui-Gon. Clearly, something had happened between the two Jedi. The urge to ask him about it was strong, but she fought it away. If he wanted to tell her about it, he would. There was no sense in pressuring him.

"Fair enough," she replied. "Can you come to dinner tonight? I thought maybe the four of us could try eating a meal without any awkward silence."

Obi-Wan grinned at that, although she still saw a hint of nervousness in his eyes.

"I'll be there," he promised.

With a quick goodbye to Sabe, Obi-Wan left. Padme took a deep breath of her own, realizing that Obi-Wan wasn't the only one who had more apologizing to do.

"Sabe, I believe I owe you an apology," she began.

* * *

><p>AN: So...I believe I will skip the details of the Padme and Sabe conversation. I plan to skip out on the conversation between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan as well, although there will be references to it. It is, in my opinion, more important than the relationship between Padme and Sabe. If anyone particularly wants to see a conversation between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, let me know. The next chapter will be a return to more light-hearted moments during the Jedi visit to Naboo.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: I really am trying so hard to write faster. I promise. Anyway, back to more light-hearted moments. 

* * *

><p>Obi-Wan eyed the scene in front of him with barely concealed amusement. Neither Panaka nor Sabe were fond of the idea of Padme leaving the palace without any security or handmaidens in tow. When they had visited the Naberrie home, Yane and two guards had followed along. Padme was determined, however, to have some time with her Jedi friends alone and outside of the palace.<p>

Her disguise was very convincing, quite a bit like the one she had worn while exploring Tatooine with Qui-Gon. Wearing a plain, light grey dress, her hair in one long braid and no makeup on her face…it all served to make her look like just another citizen of Naboo. She was set on visiting the main marketplace with her guests today and it didn't seem as though Panaka or Sabe would be successful in convincing her to let someone else go along.

"Obi-Wan, please talk some sense into her!" Sabe finally exclaimed.

From where Qui-Gon stood, there was a muffled cough which sounded suspiciously like a laugh. Obi-Wan's lips twitched slightly at seeing Sabe so completely flustered. In truth, he was glad to see Padme acting this way. There was fire in her eyes and a high color to her cheeks. And it didn't take almost uncontrollable anger to get her there.

"If it's all the same to you, Sabe, I would really like to go one full day on this planet without engaging in a verbal sparring match with its ruler. I'm afraid you're on your own," he informed her.

The smug pleasure on Padme's face was hard to miss, although Obi-Wan had to give her credit for trying to hide it in the beginning. After a few more minutes of arguing, during which Qui-Gon kept coughing nearly every time Padme said something and Anakin grew more restless, Obi-Wan decided it was time to intervene. Drawing both Panaka and Sabe aside, he spoke to them in a low tone as Padme watched with an apprehensive gaze.

"I understand the need to protect Padme," he began. "She is your queen and your friend. But she is my friend, too. She is only asking for a couple of hours. Both Qui-Gon and I are more than capable of protecting her. I swear to you that she will not be harmed. We'll be on our guard. Just…let her have this."

Panaka and Sabe exchanged reluctant glances.

"The silver lining in all this is that we'll be gone in only three days. Not much longer now," Obi-Wan gave them a bright smile, which Sabe couldn't stop herself from returning. Panaka sighed.

"Very well. But if anything happens to her-."

"I'm going to stop you right there," Obi-Wan cut Panaka off, his expression and tone changing from playful to severe as he led Panaka even further away from everyone. "I understand that you are distrustful of anyone outside this palace trying to ensure Padme's safety and well-being. It's essentially your job to be wary and I respect that. But I ask in return that you respect this. If anything ever happened to Padme while she was under my protection, there is nothing…no physical, mental, or emotional retribution you could conceive of which would make me feel more pain than I already would. So any threats or promises you intend to make in that regard will carry absolutely no weight with me."

Obi-Wan waited for the response patiently. It was easy to see that Panaka's caution did not stem from any personal feeling. In fact, Obi-Wan suspected that Panaka held the Jedi in high regard. He truly respected Panaka's position and knew the man was good at his job. Otherwise, it would be ridiculously easy to convince him to let Padme go for a couple of hours.

Eventually, Panaka assented to the plan with a half-hearted nod of his head. The gesture prompted such a smile from Padme that her head of security actually almost displayed a full smile of his own. There was a flurry of activity as Padme made a few last minute preparations. Qui-Gon took Anakin aside, no doubt giving him a reminder of his expected behavior on their excursion. Obi-Wan exchanged some last words with Panaka as the man gave him a brief rundown of the few threats received which palace security took seriously. The inhabitants of Naboo were, of course, a relatively peaceful people and Padme was a well-loved ruler. But all societies had to cope with malcontents and Naboo was no exception.

They left the palace a little later than Padme had intended, but still early enough to miss the main rush of residents to the central marketplace. Amused by Padme's eagerness, Obi-Wan caught her wrist in his hand as she began to set off on their walk at a brisk pace. She looked back at him and smiled ruefully as she saw the bemused question in his eyes. Nodding her head in agreement, she immediately adapted a more relaxed speed. Anakin seemed impatient with this development but contented himself with running as far ahead as Qui-Gon would allow, taking the extra time to look at anything that caught his interest along their path.

The sun was beginning to cast a warm, golden glow on the streets of Theed and the inhabitants of the homes lining either side were starting to stir. As the group strolled towards the market, Obi-Wan took the time to really drink in the burgeoning activity. Sounds of families beginning their day drifted through open windows, along with the tantalizing scent of the morning meals being prepared. Every so often, laughter floated through the air from one of the houses and Obi-Wan couldn't help but smile at the sound.

Of all the places he'd ever been to, Naboo was by far Obi-Wan's favorite. This fact surprised him sometimes when he remembered how he had come so close to the Dark Side during the blockade and how the days afterward had been spent still in fear for Qui-Gon's life. Still, there was a sense of peace here on Naboo that he'd never experienced elsewhere. Not even at the Jedi Temple. It felt…homey in a way.

Obi-Wan remembered very little about what it was like to live on Talus. He did know that he'd never cared overly much for his home planet when he was allowed to visit his family at their home in the capital of Dearic. The people of Talus were mainly concerned with climbing the ladder of success and amassing as much wealth as possible. Wealth there was as much a status symbol as political titles on Coruscant. No one on Talus was overly concerned with politics, though. People tended to their businesses and holdings with the same level of dedication most other societies would reserve for family.

Everyone was always rushing around in Dearic. Both Talus and Coruscant had an atmosphere that was charged with an almost desperate urgency, something which Obi-Wan disliked immensely. Naboo was much more to his liking. Theed was a large city, but it managed to maintain a seemingly slow and steady pace. He wished he could see the Lake Country Padme had told him about, but he didn't want to go there without her. Obi-Wan wanted to see the places she had mentioned in stories about her childhood and he wanted her to be able to show them to him. He decided to ask if a visit there could be arranged when he brought Siri to Naboo. The three of them, perhaps even the whole Naberrie family, could have a fun trip together.

"You seem far away," Padme remarked.

"I'm sorry," Obi-Wan gave her an apologetic smile. "I was just thinking about how much I like it here. I told Siri we'd have to come here together some day. If you wouldn't mind a visit from the two of us, of course."

Padme practically lit up at the suggestion.

"I think that would be wonderful!" she exclaimed. "I would truly love to meet Siri! The prospect of a visit without an urgent reason behind it is appealing, too."

"It is a rather foreign concept when it comes to us, I suppose," Obi-Wan's admission brought a laugh from Padme and a chuckle from Qui-Gon, who was walking along with them. He reflected that it was good to hear Qui-Gon enjoying himself. He had apologized to his former master after leaving Padme's temporary quarters yesterday. The conversation had been uncomfortable, but necessary. Now, although tension could be felt between them at times, the cloud that had been hanging over the two of them seemed to have dissipated. It was a good feeling and Obi-Wan was glad to have this little bit of time with Qui-Gon.

"There would be time to plan!" Padme's voice grew in volume as her excitement began to build, effectively jerking Obi-Wan out of his ruminations. "We could explore more of Theed and I could even take you out to the Lake Country that I told you about. When are you coming?"

Obi-Wan couldn't hold in his laughter upon hearing the question.

"Perhaps it's best if we hold off on planning our itinerary for a little while, Padme. At least until _this_ visit is over. Don't you think?"

His answer was a sheepish grin and a head nod.

"Do you go to the marketplace often, m'lady?" Qui-Gon asked, sparing Padme a brief glance before turning his attention back to Anakin further ahead.

"I try to go at least twice a month," Padme said. "Usually with Sabe and Sache. And the two disguised guards that Panaka sends with us. I used to go every week with my mother and sister. When I got more involved in politics, I didn't really have time for it anymore. It's one of the few things I miss about having a 'normal' life…but it's also one of the few that I can still do on occasion."

"I've never been to a market square where the vendors didn't know almost everyone who came through," Qui-Gon noted. "How do you manage to keep a low profile?"

"Well…" Padme hesitated and Obi-Wan met Qui-Gon's eyes over her head. This should be interesting. "There really isn't a way to disguise myself. Everyone plays along for the sake of appearances, but most of the people who work in the marketplace know who I am. They basically watched me grow up, after all. Captain Panaka isn't really aware of that fact…"

She trailed off and glanced over at Obi-Wan. He did his best to give her a disapproving look. They'd often discussed her habit of keeping secrets from Panaka and, generally, he tended to sympathize with the man. It was so nice to be talking like this, however, that Obi-Wan had the feeling his look of chastisement wasn't as strong as it could've been.

'_Pick your battles_,' he thought. No reason to spoil the day they'd just begun.

"What is your homeworld like, Master Qui-Gon?"

Obi-Wan felt the alarm roll off Qui-Gon in waves and suppressed a grin. Qui-Gon Jinn rarely talked about the more personal aspects of his life with anyone. It was a trait that Obi-Wan had picked up from him to an extent. The older Jedi hadn't expected his question to result in something of the same nature being asked of him.

"I suppose you could say it's similar to Naboo," Qui-Gon finally replied. "Although Naboo has a larger population and larger cities. The largest city on my homeworld is smaller than Theed."

There was a moment of silence and Obi-Wan could tell that Padme was waiting for Qui-Gon to say more. She arched an eyebrow when nothing else was forthcoming, clearly coming to the correct conclusion that she would not be learning anymore about Qui-Gon's home today. Obi-Wan reached out and gave her hand a brief squeeze, hoping to convey that Qui-Gon's reluctance to speak with her was not intended as a slight.

She turned and smiled at Obi-Wan, quickly changing the subject to one that Qui-Gon wouldn't exactly enjoy, but he would certainly participate.

"Anakin told me he was going to name his new kitten after me," she announced, mischief lacing her tone.

Qui-Gon gave an audible groan and Obi-Wan laughed.

After an hour in the markets, in which most of the time was spent with Padme following Anakin's excited cries of 'Wizard! Come look at this!', Qui-Gon decided to take Anakin on a little side trip. The young padawan wasn't exactly pleased at the thought of leaving the market, but Obi-Wan noticed he didn't sulk. Perhaps his curiosity as to the purpose of the detour trumped his disappointment in leaving Obi-Wan and Padme for the time being.

As they watched Qui-Gon and Anakin disappear into the now-growing crowd, Obi-Wan wondered if Padme would ask where they were going. He hoped she wouldn't. Qui-Gon planned to take Anakin to the memorial for those who died during the blockade. He felt it was important for Anakin to visit it and Obi-Wan wholeheartedly agreed. But he didn't want to discuss Anakin's impending lesson with Padme. Not today.

She might have guessed where they were going. She might have thought it wasn't her place to ask since it could be something that should just be between master and padawan. Obi-Wan wasn't sure. Whatever the reason, Padme showed no interest in what was going on other than the spark of inquisitiveness in her eyes as she watched them go.

Instead, she turned to Obi-Wan with the announcement that she was hungry and dragged him towards the nearest food stall she could find. He breathed a sigh of relief as they went. Padme quickly purchased a small basket of shuura fruit from a gruff older man who gave her a surreptitious wink as he rushed them away from his stall with mutterings about loiterers. Obi-Wan regarded him with a somewhat irritated glare, but Padme only laughed and winked back before directing her friend to a nearby bench.

"Who was that?" Obi-Wan asked as they sat down.

"An old family friend," Padme responded, opening the basket and handing him one of the fruits. "I guess you could say he was my almost father."

Obi-Wan choked as a piece of the fruit went down the wrong way. He managed to recover fairly quickly, waving Padme's concerned actions away.

"I'm sorry. Your ALMOST father?" he repeated, his voice a little raspy from the bought of coughing he had just suffered. Padme smirked.

"He and mother were…well, it's hard to explain. They'd been best friends since they were little and they loved each other. They just kind of figured they would get married at some point. When he went to university, he met his wife. Which was just fine because mother met father around the same time. They stayed friends. He has a son who's just a year younger than Sola. I think maybe they're hoping he and I will get married someday."

"And will you?"

Padme wrinkled her nose at him.

"I have no intention of getting married anytime soon. There's too much I want to do. Lannik is nice, though. We played together sometimes when we were little, but we were never best friends or anything. The last time I saw him was at my coronation and that was just for a few minutes. All I know about him these days is that he is studying politics at a school on Coruscant."

"So you're saying it's a possibility," he teased her. She shoved him lightly on the arm.

"Yes. I have a list of all young men I've come in contact with who I thought were nice. Someday, when I'm old and any looks I might have are starting to fade, I'll track one of them down and marry them. That's my plan."

"I think your plan needs work," Obi-Wan informed her.

"Hmph. I'm crossing you off my list," she shot back, grinning at him. "So what about you and Siri? When will you get married?"

Obi-Wan sighed. His own marriage was farther off than he'd like. He had no idea when Siri would be judged ready for her trials. And once she passed them, they had to wait at least a year.

"Not soon enough for my taste," he told Padme, smiling somewhat wistfully. "But good things come to those who wait. Isn't that how the saying goes?"

She nodded and tossed him another fruit. He caught it, studying her expression. Padme had an inquisitive mind and it seemed to be in full force today. Obi-Wan wondered what road he was about to be led down.

"Do you think I'm suited for marriage?"

He stared at her, unable to even attempt to hide the shock he knew was written all over his face. The question was coming out of nowhere. Padme had never mentioned any pressing desire to be married someday. Her heart and soul was in the service of Naboo. Not to mention the fact that Obi-Wan considered her too young to even be thinking of marriage. He knew better than to say that, of course. Yet another reason to be thankful that he had a sister.

'_Proceed with diplomacy, Kenobi_,' he thought to himself.

"Do you mind if I ask what brought this up?" he inquired, managing to regain control of his expression.

Padme seemed reluctant to answer but Obi-Wan didn't press her. If she really wanted to have this conversation, she'd answer him eventually. It was obvious that she was struggling with something and it wouldn't do any good to force something out of her.

"Sabe has someone. Someone that she loves," Padme said quietly. "She thinks I don't know and I've let her keep thinking that. He's part of Panaka's security force and I know…um, dalliances with my handmaidens are…" she trailed off.

"Forbidden?" Obi-Wan supplied. To his surprise, that made Padme smile.

"Not exactly. Although that makes it all sound so much more 'romantic', doesn't it? No, it's just very much frowned upon. If I thought it wasn't something serious, I might tell Panaka. I don't like the idea of someone toying with my friends' emotions. But I saw them together once, walking through the garden at night. Sabe thought I was asleep. The thought of having a relationship with someone has never really crossed my mind. Not with any frequency. When I saw the way they walked together, though, and heard the way she laughed when he leaned in and said something to her…" Padme trailed off, looking a little wistful.

Obi-Wan waited to see if she would say anymore. She seemed to be a little embarrassed about what she'd said so far, though, so he decided to try putting her at ease.

"You have a very giving spirit, Padme. You rarely think about yourself and while that's a good thing, it's also partly the reason for what you've been putting yourself through lately. Just because you're in the service of your people doesn't mean that it's wrong to want something for yourself. You just have to find the right balance. Right now, you'll balance taking care of yourself and being queen. Someday, if you want, you'll balance being a wife and Chancellor of the Republic."

Her embarrassment quickly gave way to amusement, much to Obi-Wan's satisfaction.

"Chancellor, you say? I think the odds are better that I'll be a wife."

Obi-Wan shook his head.

"You've a horrible temper and you're ridiculously stubborn. Handy for going up against other politicians but not particularly desirable in a wife."

She chucked another fruit at him, much harder than her earlier toss, but he dodged it and laughed as he put an arm around her shoulders. Padme tried to shrug him off to no avail. She knew he had been teasing her and there was no real anger behind her efforts. Briefly squeezing her against him in a sideways hug, Obi-Wan set about reassuring her.

"I'll take my life in my hands and go ahead and say this. You are too young right now to worry about something like this. Oof! Easy, now. Your elbows are sharp!" she smiled triumphantly and Obi-Wan rolled his eyes before continuing. "As I was saying, you're very young to worry about it, but I understand why you worry about it. Someday, though, there will be a man who'll be very fortunate to find that you've decided to trust him with your heart. He won't be nearly good enough for you, of course, but you'll love him. And he will love you because you're a smart, compassionate, selfless, beautiful young woman. He'd be an absolute fool to ever let you go."

Padme leaned her head on Obi-Wan's shoulder.

"But what if he does let me go?" she asked.

"Then I'll send Siri after him," he replied, the answer bringing a laugh from Padme before she spoke again, a hint of accusation lacing her tone.

"You won't go after him yourself?"

"Trust me. He would wish I had once Siri got through with him. She's much meaner than I am. How do you think she got me to propose? I'm terrified of her!"

Padme sat up, striking Obi-Wan playfully on the arm.

"You just scare too easily," she informed him, taking the last fruit from the basket and examining it carefully.

"That's also very possible," Obi-Wan agreed, glad to have resolved this particular issue with relative ease. For now. In the back of his mind, the thought of Padme actually getting married niggled at him. It was a slightly unpleasant idea. He'd meant what he said. Whoever she eventually fell in love with wouldn't be good enough for her. But then he wasn't sure that any man was good enough for the women who fell in love with them. Force knew he didn't deserve Siri, but she loved him all the same for some reason.

The shuura fruit was put back in the basket as Padme stated that they would save the last one for Anakin when he returned. The two friends wandered around the market slowly, sometimes together and sometimes separate from one another. Padme helped Obi-Wan choose presents for both Siri and Lea at a stall selling some delicately fashioned jewelry and knick-knacks. Obi-Wan watched in amusement as Padme bought a little collar with a bell for Anakin's kitten; a kitten which Qui-Gon still insisted would not be accompanying them back to Coruscant.

While Padme was preoccupied with some brightly colored materials, Obi-Wan snuck back to the stall where he had purchased the gifts for Siri and Lea. He had noticed Padme's gaze fall on one item in particular when they were there earlier and recognized that she wanted it for herself. He knew better than to think she'd buy anything for herself, though, and decided he wanted her to have some little token from his visit that would be a reminder of a nice day together.

As he was finishing the transaction, Qui-Gon and Anakin appeared at his side. Anakin appeared to be properly subdued but not overly morose about the lesson he had just received. Obi-Wan was glad to see the balance in the young boy and could tell Qui-Gon felt the same way. After gathering Padme, the group started back towards the palace.

The time was spent in pleasant conversation amongst all four of them. It wasn't until they neared the palace that Obi-Wan realized his day would not be completely free of conflict regarding Padme. She turned to him with a mischievous spark in her eye and he knew he would be in trouble before her mouth even opened. But when she spoke, she spoke to Anakin.

"Sabe told me you brought your training saber with you, Ani."

Anakin shot a somewhat puzzled look at Padme before responding to her statement.

"Yes, I did. I always do when we travel away from the Temple. Sometimes Master Qui-Gon has enough free time to help me with my saber training. We both brought our training sabers."

"Padme…" Obi-Wan began, quickly seeing where this conversation was going.

His rising apprehension was blithely brushed aside.

"Do you suppose I could borrow both of them this evening?" Padme inquired, her gaze flicking between Qui-Gon and Anakin. Anakin seemed even more confused by the question, but Qui-Gon did not suffer from any such problem.

"Oh, I think that could be arranged," Qui-Gon assured her. Before Obi-Wan could say anything, his former master quickly ushered Anakin inside the palace.

Obi-Wan watched the two of them go as a feeling of helplessness washed over him. When he turned back to Padme, she was regarding him with a somewhat smug smile.

"Padme…" he started again, knowing that it would be useless to say anything at this point. Still, he felt he had to make some kind of attempt. It seemed to be a matter of principle by now.

"You said I needed another outlet," she reminded him. "Why not lightsaber training?"

"…because you're not a Jedi?" he answered, recognizing the trap just a second too late. He closed his eyes in resignation as she started speaking.

"But you're teaching me Jedi meditation."

Sigh.

"Alright," he gave in. "This evening after dinner. I assume you have some kind of training rooms in the palace?"

Padme looked at him in disbelief and Obi-Wan nodded.

"Right. Silly question. May I have your permission to explore them this afternoon, my queen?"

She smiled at him, obviously relieved that he wasn't irritated by her plans.

"I'll let Panaka know that you might need some assistance. Will that be alright?" she asked as Yane appeared to hurry them into the palace.

"That would be perfect. Thank you, Padme."

"No, Obi-Wan. Thank you," Her smile turned from one of excitement to one of sincere thankfuless and she quickly squeezed his hand before Yane ushered her away to change.

Obi-Wan stayed outside for a few more moments, wondering exactly what he had gotten himself into. Eventually, he decided it was pointless to try making sense of it all and made his way inside. He had a lot to do to get ready for tonight.

* * *

><p>AN: Next chapter, a little bit of fun in the training room and a some more heartfelt conversation about various things. Thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: A few things you need to keep in mind on this chapter. First of all, we ARE dealing with an AU here. If people seem slightly OOC that's because it's a slightly different universe. Secondly, I am crap at writing action scenes. There's a sparring bit in here and I took a wimpy way out. I apologize beforehand for the horribleness of it all. Thirdly, we're coming to an end of this section of the story. And future chapters will probably be a bit happier.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I'm so confused at this point, I don't even know who owns Star Wars anymore.

A/N 2: There's a mention of one of my Original Characters in here. He'll pop up more often in a later story in this series.

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><p>As Obi-Wan looked around at the training room he and Panaka had prepared, he had to admit to himself that this didn't really seem like the best idea he'd ever had. Certainly not the worst…but definitely not the best. Then again, this wasn't really his idea. Padme had tricked him into this.<p>

It was large as far as basic training rooms went. Of course, he had yet to see a small room in Theed Palace. The main set up was clearly for blaster training, though, which limited their space to the section of the room Panaka had designated for hand-to-hand. With the few minor adjustments he had asked for in place, Obi-Wan decided it would more than do for what Padme had in mind.

Bending the rules was something he was becoming rather good at and he wasn't sure how he felt about that development. It wasn't against the Jedi Code to teach lightsaber combat to non-Jedi. Not really. Several cultures preferred simple sabers to blasters in combat. The basic movements, both defensive and offensive, were similar. The weapons were just as deadly, although not quite as refined in Obi-Wan's opinion. Still, he doubted the Council would be thrilled with the thought of all this training he was doing. First meditation, now lightsaber combat. Would using the Force in combat be next?

Ridiculous as the thought was, his eyes cut to Padme as it crossed his mind. Surprisingly, he found himself perfectly willing to teach her such a thing if she wanted to learn. He considered himself fortunate that she did not know how extensive her gift was in the Force or she would probably be able to talk him into doing so.

Obi-Wan felt his former master's eyes on him and, turning to face Qui-Gon, he knew the older Jedi had ascertained what he was thinking. Qui-Gon, who had come with Anakin to watch this first training session, seemed oddly smug to see Obi-Wan in this position. Perhaps because he was remembering how often Obi-Wan had brought up the wisdom in bending the rules.

"Don't say it," Obi-Wan warned.

Qui-Gon regarded him with a laughably exaggerated look of shock.

"I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about, Obi-Wan," he replied.

Obi-Wan briefly thought about responding before realizing such an action would just inevitably lead to a circular argument. A friendly argument to be sure, but he had too much on his mind at present to try to keep up with Qui-Gon in such a conversation. Shaking his head, he let the matter drop. Perhaps sensing that he really was slightly distressed over what he was about to do, Qui-Gon spoke again in a more reassuring manner.

"You are not doing anything wrong. Even Mace would agree with me on that point. Does that help you at all?"

It did of course. Obi-Wan regarded Mace nearly as highly as he regarded Qui-Gon. As a young boy, he'd always found it interesting that someone whose lightsaber form danced so closely to the Dark Side was second only to Yoda when it came to strict opinions on enforcing the Code. Now, he could see that the two seemingly contradictory facts actually balanced each other. Clinging so strictly to the Jedi Code was the reason Mace could walk the fine line he did.

"What would Master Yoda say?" Obi-Wan asked, stubbornly refusing to give voice to his thoughts.

Qui-Gon scanned the room quickly, scowling a little when he saw Anakin within earshot. He looked back at Obi-Wan and arched an eyebrow.

'_You're laboring under the misconception that I care_,' Obi-Wan nearly jumped when Qui-Gon's voice, laced with an undercurrent that was both teasing and frustrated, echoed through the Force. It stunned him into speechlessness for a moment. Qui-Gon had not communicated with him in such a way since the day he was knighted. He blinked and stared at Qui-Gon, who looked almost as shocked by Obi-Wan's emotional response as Obi-Wan had been by Qui-Gon's action.

For weeks after his knighthood Obi-Wan had felt almost empty at the loss of hearing his master's voice, whether chastising or soothing, through the Force. It was not mandatory for such contact to be severed, but Qui-Gon was one of several masters who felt it was easier for the new knight to forge their own path if their former master wasn't communicating with them in such an intimate way.

Because it was intimate. Obi-Wan could not only hear the words in Qui-Gon's voice, but he could feel the emotions behind them as well. Talking to one another through the Force forged an even deeper bond than regular conversation could. Speaking out loud, one could hear the other person's feelings in their inflection and tone. Through the Force, however, since one person actually felt what the other was feeling it brought greater understanding.

Obi-Wan had eventually adjusted, as both Qui-Gon and Mace had assured him he would. He had almost forgotten what it felt like to talk to Qui-Gon through the Force. The older Jedi's decision to start again had taken Obi-Wan completely by surprise and there was a cacophony of emotions that returned along with that form of contact. Disbelief, joy, delight, even hints of residual sorrow and anger. They all battled for dominance for a brief moment and Obi-Wan knew that Qui-Gon could tell what he was feeling.

Padme's voice broke through the inner maelstrom Obi-Wan was trying to get under control. Turning in her direction, he found that she and three of her handmaidens were regarding him expectantly.

"I'm sorry. What did you say, Padme?" he asked.

"I asked if it would be alright with you if Sabe went first," Padme responded, her tone more amused than anything else.

Obi-Wan looked over at Sabe, surprised by the look of sheer excitement on her face. Alright then.

"That's fine with me," he said, motioning Sabe towards the combat ring he had set up.

As he started to go meet her, he felt a hand on his arm. Casting a glance over his shoulder, he was surprised to be the recipient of an apologetic gaze from Qui-Gon. His former master opened his mouth to say something, but Obi-Wan only shook his head and covered Qui-Gon's hand with his own, giving it a slight squeeze. There had been enough apologies between the two of them to last a lifetime. There was no sense in continuing the cycle. Qui-Gon nodded almost imperceptibly and dropped his own hand as Obi-Wan went to show Sabe the stance she needed to be in.

He was a little disconcerted by the amount of eagerness Sabe was displaying, hopping from foot to foot as she waited for him. This was clearly something his friend had wanted to do for quite a long time. Shaking his head slightly in bewilderment, Obi-Wan began to give instructions.

"Stand right here," he positioned her by guiding her shoulders, making sure she was a good distance away from their audience. Picking up Anakin's training saber, he placed it in her hand and showed her how to grip the hilt. He had clipped Qui-Gon's training saber to his belt and he pulled it as he paced away and then turned back to face Sabe. She regarded him thoughtfully for a second.

"Your saber is bigger than mine," she said, one of her eyebrows arched in what was clearly a playful expression.

Obi-Wan faltered a bit at the flagrant flirtation. Sabe eyed him innocently but he knew she was all too aware of what she was doing. For a moment, he was unsure. Remembering that Sabe was actually four years older than Padme helped, however.

"Don't concern yourself with size, milady. It's the skill with which one wields a saber that counts," he informed her.

"I am at a disadvantage, then," she sighed. "Unless the rumors of your skills with a saber have been greatly exaggerated."

Obi-Wan shook his head, enjoying the banter but knowing that it was time to get down to business. Besides, the only way to go from here was outrageous blunt flirting and, for now, he was fairly certain Anakin had no idea what they were talking about.

"A gentleman never brags about his own skills with a saber," he said, effectively ending the line of flirtation. "Now, loosen your hold just a bit on the hilt…"

* * *

><p>"Relax," Obi-Wan told her for what seemed to be the hundredth time. "Every time you tense up, I can see what you're going to do next."<p>

Padme scowled as she attempted to do what Obi-Wan said.

"I suppose the fact that you're much more experienced than I am doesn't have anything to do with the fact that you can see such a thing."

"I'm not even trying to figure out what you're up to," he responded. "Your body is communicating it so loudly one of Master Yoda's younglings could tell what your next move is. Just….alright, stop."

Sighing, Padme lowered the training saber in her hands and let it drop to the floor. Staring at it wistfully for a moment, she thought about joining it there. She was the last of Obi-Wan's pupils and the audience had dwindled away to only Sabe and Qui-Gon. Anakin had lost his own battle with sleep while Yane was still being taught and Qui-Gon had carried the boy to their quarters before returning to watch Padme. All the other handmaidens had gone to bed as well, both tired from their activity and excited that Obi-Wan had promised at least one more training session before he went back to Coruscant.

Padme couldn't understand why she seemed to be having more trouble than the others. It frustrated her to no end that she was having difficulty following Obi-Wan's instructions. It wasn't his fault, although her first defensive instinct was to blame him. She knew, however, that she was really angry at herself for her perceived failings. What was worse, she knew that Obi-Wan could tell as he came closer to her.

"Breathe, Padme," he said, his voice so low it was almost a whisper.

She looked at him in confusion.

"Close your eyes and just breathe."

"Is this where we try meditation again?" she inquired petulantly. She winced inwardly upon hearing herself.

"Is this where things devolve into a screaming match again?" he returned, one cocked eyebrow the only sign that his patience was wearing thin.

Unwilling to push her luck, Padme gave in. Closing her eyes, she took a deep and slow breath.

"Again," Obi-Wan instructed. She complied and then gave out a yelp of surprise when a cool fabric slid across her face. Before she could even move Obi-Wan had tied the fabric behind her head, effectively blocking out all light. Panic rose up in her but she quickly squelched it. There was no reason to be afraid of Obi-Wan.

A low electrical hum suddenly filled the air and Padme felt that same panic try to claw its way out yet again. Then she heard the distinctive snap-hiss of a lightsaber. A real lightsaber.

"Obi-Wan…" Qui-Gon's voice drifted through the darkness and Padme tilted her head in the direction of the sound. He sounded uncertain. Concerned? Possibly annoyed?

"I know what I'm doing," Obi-Wan's voice came from just over her right shoulder. She couldn't stop herself from jumping at his proximity. He murmured an apology for startling her as he took her hand in his and wrapped her fingers around the hilt of what she realized was his lightsaber.

Padme shook slightly at the realization that she had the weapon of a Jedi in her hand. She could smell the ionized air around the 'saber and the recognition that she held a very dangerous item warred with the utterly secure feeling of Obi-Wan's hand gently placed over her own.

"Breathe," he instructed her again.

As she took a breath, several things happened. First, Obi-Wan's hand left hers and she felt him move away from her. Before she had the chance to panic at the loss of contact, Padme sensed a charge of electricity from her left side. Instinctively, she turned and moved the 'saber with her. A small vibration moved through her arm and Padme realized she had just blocked some form of attack.

There was no time to crow about it, though. There was another charge off to her left again, then her right. She moved in the direction of each one, not allowing thought to enter into her actions. Padme blocked four more of the attacks before having to fend off a sudden volley. The last of these little electric bolts made it through her defense, zapping her on the forearm. She dropped the lightsaber in surprise, thankful that it apparently turned itself off when such a thing happened.

The low electric hum stopped and her makeshift blindfold, which she now saw had been Sabe's belt, was quickly removed. Obi-Wan stood in front of her, concern etching his features.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"I'm…fine," she was quick to assure him. "It just caught me by surprise."

He didn't look convinced, so she rolled back the sleeve of her tunic to prove she wasn't hurt. The little spot where the electric bolt had made contact was red but she wasn't concerned about that at all. Sabe was suddenly there beside them and Padme resisted the urge to roll her eyes when her friend started fussing.

"Honestly, I'm fine," she informed both of them. "I've had worse injuries wrestling with Sola when I was younger. It was just a little shock."

Obi-Wan finally seemed convinced, although Sabe still eyed Padme with unease and suspicion. As though she didn't think Padme would be the best judge of whether or not she was actually okay.

"What was that thing?" Padme asked, hoping to get their attention off her. "What was I blocking? More importantly, why did you blindfold me?"

Qui-Gon came up to join them and he also cast a worried glance at Padme. She bit back the urge to sigh dramatically. Honestly, did they think she was made of glass?

"I blindfolded you because I wanted you to act on instinct and I didn't think you'd be able to keep your eyes closed simply because I told you to," Obi-Wan told her. "As for what that was, it's a training device I use to practice blocking blaster fire. It's a fairly common combat remote. I'm surprised you haven't seen one before."

He handed the spherical object to her and Padme examined it with interest. It did look slightly familiar.

"Captain Panaka has used something similar when he trains the palace guards," Sabe volunteered, staring at the combat remote in Padme's hands. "Improving their reaction times, I think."

Obi-Wan nodded.

"It's also used for that purpose by marksmen. Qui-Gon introduced it to our training to help me improve when I was a padawan. I've never stopped practicing with it."

Padme gave the remote back to Obi-Wan, who placed it in the small bag he had brought to the training room. When he turned back to her, she smiled.

"So how did I do?" she inquired.

"Well, I was rather impressed with how you handled the remote," Qui-Gon responded. "I question the wisdom of using it in this case. But what's done is done and, clearly, Obi-Wan did know exactly what you needed."

"What I needed?" Padme repeated, looking back and forth between the two Jedi in the hopes that one of them would provide an explanation.

She wasn't disappointed. Obi-Wan seemed more than willing to explain his actions.

"I think that after you watched everyone else train and, if I may say so, do very well considering the limited amount of time and the lack of experience…you put even more pressure on yourself. By the time I was training you, you were impatient. And you were trying too hard."

"How does one try too hard?" Padme asked, remembering their earlier conversation about her meditation. Perhaps the training with the lightsaber might be of more help to her than she initially thought.

"You can't force it," Obi-Wan informed her as he picked up his lightsaber. Standing back from the other three, he ignited the blade and closed his eyes. "When you've used a blaster in a combat situation, did you question your every movement, your every aim?"

"Only long enough to make sure I was hitting the target," she responded, watching as Obi-Wan moved the blade of the lightsaber slowly in some sort of pattern. Both she and Sabe completely missed the fact that Qui-Gon no longer stood beside them.

"Exactly," Obi-Wan nodded. "While you have to do some type of mental processing, you also need to rely on your instincts. They are invaluable and I am of the opinion that far too many people tend to ignore them. When you're in combat, you can't usually afford the time to think out your next move and prepare for every possible scenario. You should always use your head in a combat situation, of course, but it must be balanced with instinct. Otherwise you'll end up injured or worse because you took too much time to think."

"I feel like I should've known that," Padme opined, disappointed in herself once again.

Obi-Wan smiled, although he never opened his eyes or stopped his movements.

"You do know that. You just didn't think about applying it here because you were too wrapped up in trying to do everything well."

Padme pursed her lips as she pondered that particular insight. She had been very focused on just trying to correctly do all the things Obi-Wan showed her. Too narrowly focused it would seem. It was an interesting thought and she decided right then to try meditation once more when she returned to her room.

She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she almost missed the sight of Qui-Gon slowly circling Obi-Wan. Almost. The older Jedi had a slight smile on his face and the hilt of his own lightsaber gripped securely in his hand. Obi-Wan showed no signs that he was aware of his former master's movements. Suddenly, Qui-Gon's lightsaber ignited and Obi-Wan's eyes snapped open as he quickly blocked the strike coming from behind him.

"Eyes closed," came the clipped command from Qui-Gon. But Obi-Wan merely stared at his mentor.

The two Jedi remained frozen, their lightsabers crackling as they touched. Ever so slowly, Obi-Wan began to smile. For some reason, the sight warmed Padme's heart.

"You first," responded the former padawan.

Qui-Gon cocked his head to the side slightly as he regarded Obi-Wan. With one corner of his mouth crooked up, he finally nodded and stepped back.

"As you wish," he acquiesced.

Qui-Gon's eyes slide closed just a split second before Obi-Wan's. For a moment, there was no movement at all. Both Padme and Sabe watched, transfixed even though nothing was actually happening. Padme thought she saw Qui-Gon's hand tighten on the hilt but she would never know for sure. Because at that exact second, Obi-Wan attacked.

* * *

><p>He refrained from letting out a shout of victory as he realized that his sudden offensive move had come as a surprise to Qui-Gon. Surprise or not, Qui-Gon blocked the attack easily which didn't come as a shock to Obi-Wan. He retreated only slightly before striking again, determined to keep the older Jedi off-balance. It was rare for Obi-Wan to be the aggressor in sparring sessions and he was counting on Qui-Gon being unaccustomed to it. So far, it was working to his advantage. Although Qui-Gon was blocking every strike, Obi-Wan could feel that his former master had been knocked a bit off-center by Obi-Wan's actions.<p>

He had always loved sparring with his master, but he'd never done so with anything except training sabers. And there were more than a few things he'd improved upon since becoming a knight. Determined to expand his knowledge, he had sparred with several different knights and even a few masters. Siri, of course, was a fairly regular sparring partner. But Obi-Wan also trained frequently with Bant and Garen. Less frequent, but very much prized, were training sessions with Mace, Shaak Ti and Master Torwyn Dahn. It was Obi-Wan's opinion that those particular match-ups were the most helpful.

His opinion proved to have some merit when he felt a shock of surprise from Qui-Gon as he launched himself into the air, flipping over the other man's head and bringing down the blade of the lightsaber as he landed behind Qui-Gon. Again, the attack was blocked but he could feel the hesitancy on Qui-Gon's part.

While they continued to test each other's limits in the training circle, Obi-Wan remained aware of the peripheral presence of their audience. He was careful not to move too close to them and knew Qui-Gon was seeking out their Force signatures in order to do the same. It was rather thrilling, actually, to fight like this. Although it wasn't the first time he had sparred without sight, he couldn't recall ever doing so when the other person was without sight as well.

He dodged an attack from Qui-Gon, spinning to the side as he wondered if Master Dahn would allow him to go without sight during one of their sessions. The thought had never entered his mind before since Master Dahn was blind. But now that he was doing such a thing with Qui-Gon, he was intrigued by the possibility.

Dropping into a crouch, Obi-Wan felt a breeze above his head as Qui-Gon's lightsaber passed over. He briefly questioned the wisdom of doing this without training sabers _and_ without sight, but he felt a small surge of contentment when he realized that he trusted Qui-Gon implicitly and that his former master obviously trusted him as well. It was a realization that served to mend their complicated relationship even further.

Obi-Wan turned to the right as he stood back up, bringing the blade of his 'saber around with him and meeting with a very weak block from Qui-Gon. Unable to pass up the opening, he pressed his advantage with a fast flurry of lightsaber strikes. Qui-Gon's blade stopped each one until Obi-Wan suddenly paused. Allowing just enough time for Qui-Gon to question the reason, Obi-Wan kicked out high and to his left.

His boot made solid contact with Qui-Gon's arm and he heard the lightsaber drop to the ground as Qui-Gon gave a shout of disbelief. Smiling, Obi-Wan spun and kicked again. This time, he connected with his former master's chest and put just enough force behind it to ensure that the older Jedi would lose his balance. As soon as he heard Qui-Gon fall, he brought his lightsaber down for an overhead strike, stopping the blade at the exact moment his instincts told him to.

Opening his eyes, Obi-Wan looked down to see the tip of the blue blade just a finger width away from Qui-Gon's nose. Qui-Gon stared back up at him, his expression a mixture of irritation that he had been defeated and confusion for the same reason. Then he smiled and Obi-Wan felt a powerful release of emotions wash over him. For a moment, he was bathed in the pure affection and pride of his mentor. The feeling was indescribable. It was something he had longed for during the majority of his apprenticeship and he was tempted to just bask in it. It wasn't in his nature to do so, however, and he merely grinned as he stepped back from Qui-Gon, retracting the blade and clipping his lightsaber to his belt once more.

Qui-Gon was still smiling as he stood up.

"You've learned much, young one," the older man spoke quietly while retrieving his own lightsaber.

Obi-Wan shrugged, sparing a glance towards the young women who showed no signs of moving towards the two of them.

"I had an excellent foundation," he responded just as softly.

Qui-Gon regarded him for a moment before inclining his head slightly in acknowledgment of and thanks for the compliment. Obi-Wan merely returned the gesture and the two men made their way over to their apparently enraptured audience. His reasons for being glad that he came to Naboo were rapidly beginning to outnumber the negative things he had experienced since arriving.

* * *

><p>Padme managed to keep her curiosity to herself as Obi-Wan and Sabe walked back to her temporary quarters with her. Aside from the incredible sparring session she had witnessed, she had also watched the quick byplay between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon with interest. She knew that it wasn't really any of her business. But she was glad to note that there didn't seem to be any tension between the two of them at present. Still, she discerned Obi-Wan had been hurt by Qui-Gon's seemingly thoughtless dismissal of him. He had never specifically told her that, but there were hints over the past year in their correspondence. Seeing them together this evening had made her happy.<p>

Although Sabe had apparently intended to accompany Padme and help her prepare for bed, she insisted that her best friend go on to her own room. She wasn't wearing anything ornate that might require assistance and she did want a word with Obi-Wan before she attempted meditation once more. Sabe seemed reluctant to leave, but she was too tired to put up much of an argument. The young handmaiden left their group as they passed her own room, leaving Obi-Wan and Padme to their own devices.

"Thank you for this evening," Padme said. They were the first words she had spoken since before Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan sparred.

Obi-Wan turned his head towards her and smiled.

"It was fun," he admitted. "I didn't actually think it would be _that_ much fun, but it was a…pleasant surprise. I'm glad you enjoyed it."

She wanted to ask him about Qui-Gon, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Clearly, things were solving themselves just fine without any interference on her part. Although her first thought was to try and get to the root of the problem so she could help her friend, her instincts told her she would only be running the risk of re-opening old wounds. It would be better if she left things alone.

Padme smiled as she realized her instincts had won out over her thoughts. Very fitting considering the events of the evening.

"Is something funny?" Obi-Wan inquired as they neared their neighboring rooms.

"No. Not exactly," she responded. "Just a little…amusing."

He regarded her with no small amount of curiosity, but when she stuck her tongue out at him in return he just shook his head and chuckled. They reached Obi-Wan's room first and Padme stopped instead of continuing on to her own. Obi-Wan waited patiently, obviously coming to the conclusion that she had more to say than just a simple good night.

She wasn't sure exactly what she wanted to say. Another thank you seemed both inadequate and redundant. Everything else that came to mind, everything that would assure him that she would always be there for him if he needed to talk, sounded horribly trite. In the end, she gave him a brilliant smile before launching herself into his arms.

Although he was clearly surprised at first, it didn't take long for Obi-Wan to return the hug. Padme tightened her arms around his neck and turned her head slightly to whisper in his ear.

"I'm here."

Only two words, but he seemed to instantly understand the meaning behind them. Obi-Wan's arms briefly tightened around her before she finally pulled away, still smiling.

"Good night, Master Kenobi."

"Sleep well, my padawan," he returned teasingly, giving her a warm smile of his own.

Feeling lighter than she had in ages, Padme practically bounced through the door of her own room. As she dressed for bed, she hummed a lullaby that her mother had always sung to her long ago. After unbraiding her hair, she opened the window that looked out towards the market square.

Grabbing a cushion off one of the chairs, she tossed it on the floor near the window and sat down. The cool night air of Naboo surrounded her as she closed her eyes. Stilling herself, Padme tried to clear her mind as Obi-Wan had shown her to in the gardens. She was only partially successful and, to her chagrin, felt her irritation rising.

'_Breathe, Padme.'_

He might as well have been in the same room with her. Obi-Wan's voice echoed through her mind and she wasn't sure if it was her memory or if he was communicating with her somehow from the next room.

'_Just breathe,'_ said the voice again.

So she did. Once, twice, three times….until she lost count of how many times she had done so. Slowly, oh so very slowly, everything around her seemed to melt away. She was surrounded by darkness, but it was not a darkness that was frightening in any way. Eventually, things began to come into focus.

The first thing she noticed was the warmth of the ground beneath her and the softness of grass replacing the softness of the cushion. Next, she caught the scent of wildflowers drifting towards her on a gentle breeze. Hesitantly, she opened her eyes and made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob when she found herself in the meadows of the Lake Country.

Next door, Obi-Wan smiled.

* * *

><p>AN: So...I think we're pretty much past the angsty, sad stuff. A couple more chapters will take place on Naboo. The story will shift then. I haven't decided whether I will add the rest to this story or put up a separate story to move things along. We'll see.

Please review. Any suggestions are helpful. Love my readers!


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